ME!
How do you define a trap? An undefined maze, a conundrum full of walls, every time bouncing you back to initial position? More you struggle, it hits you back.
Lately, I was going thru the horrible situation. Everything was perfect all around, high on hopes, ready to bang on any idea, but something was holding me back.
All situations have gone gray before me and I cannot recognize where to plunge and where not. I tried diaspora of fields — in a hope to hook at one idea but nothing seemed to work. Plush hotels, Hi-tech gadgets, solitary times and a good paying Job but things used to deviate from expected norms.
To write a memoir and quoting the third person is ubiquitous but I choose to write about me, about my situation and express it in the rawest way possible.
I sat in the exotic balcony, exhaling outright with every breath. I was not understanding what was wrong with me and how to get it right, as soon as possible. I wish to end this vicious cycle in no time. I look at others and compare my situation — Am I being hypnotized? Why can’t I end this? Where do I need to go? To whom to contact? What to Try?
I am being ambiguous about the situation — Am I in depression? How should I end? I need a supportive company or may be not. Sages say “Every situation is designed to take you up on this evolutionary scale.” Is this a sign of my evolution or depravity into darkness. But it hurts every time I face myself into stagnation. I cannot be packed into limits of prevailing dogmas, yet I cannot collect the strength to take the plunge.
One way is t forget all the rubbish and walk on the path of “The Knowns” or other is to walk “The Unknown Terrain” and suffer till you’re hard enough to rebel and mold the situations the way you want them to. The choice is clear but requires strength to choose the later and what the Visionaries instruct to follow.
Yes, I am in darkness but soon it’ll be finished as nothing lasts forever and I don’t know if someone has gone thru it. May be luckily I’ll meet someone and can get the soothing yet constructive advice. How do I reckon this impending negativity, I certainly need a comfort zone yet I admire to learn to fight with and come out strongly. I need to talk outrightly, boldly no intention to paste my emotions but to lighten the burdened heart.

