I used to think tidying was moral
It’s not. It’s functional. Let KC Davis tell you what that means.
I’ve always struggled with tidying. Making my bed, gathering all the dirty clothes from the floor, loading the dishwasher and sanitizing the countertops—I struggle with all this to this day. But I feel better about it, and much more hopeful of finding a balance that works for me. Let me tell you why:
I used to think tidying was a moral thing. Good people kept their spaces tidy, and the ones who didn’t were, by extension, bad people.
It was never spelled out like that. Instead, this dichotomy was enforced very effectively through shame and societal expectations. I felt ashamed of my messy spaces, and I felt like that shame was justified.¹ Regardless of whether I wanted my room to be clean, it was clear that I should want it and that it should be clean. Jokes about Einstein having a messy desk were of limited help, because we all knew that in the real world people made their beds and why won’t you just do this one thing?²
The choices were few. I could ignore the issue, pretend I didn’t care. This was easy up to a point, because I often really don’t care. I will walk over piles of things to get to where I need to be and it won’t phase me in the least. I will make space just for my laptop on my messy desk…