welcome to the jungle!!
When I first saw him I couldn’t stop admiring how incredibly handsome, tall, athletic and stylish this man was. But beyond that, he showed to have an emotional side too as he would post pictures of his road trip with friends, his fascination for dogs, his adoration for his little niece and of different places he would visit and how they inspired him. There was something beyond his external beauty that I really wanted to discover but all I needed was to find that strength within me. So I took it step by step like a little girl in school too shy to ask a boy out. I began with adding him on Facebook and you cannot imagine the happiness I got when he added me back. I remember liking his first post after he had added me. I was sweating so much, anticipating if he would respond back. It was only a couple of days after I had added him when I got an Instagram notification that he wanted to follow me on Instagram. I must have shaken my head a couple of times to make sure if that was truly what I was seeing. I took a deep breath and I accepted for him to follow me. It was late at night so I fell asleep a short while after that with a big smile. It was up to my surprise when I woke the next day to see he had liked several pictures of mine. My heart began to pump loudly, so loudly I could almost feel my veins exploding. He had obviously looked at my profile and he took the time to show me that. The feeling was overwhelming. My day had started off well and you could see it in my face. But this didn’t end up there. He started liking my Facebook pictures too. So I did as well. And so we began the «liking game» of liking each others pictures on Facebook and Instagram. I liked one of his pictures, he would like back, and vice-versa. This game lasted for a month, and even though it was a mental torture stopping my temptation to send him a message every time, I can admit I was liking the game and the feeling.
I don’t remember much about that night except that I know I was out with a couple of friends having lunch and drinking a lot of tsipouro. And when I mean a lot… I mean… A LOT! For some alcohol is the root of doing some stupid decisions…for me it was that strength to talk to him. I guess I was afraid he would reject me. He would be cold. He would crush me down with something like « Likes are likes. They didn’t mean much to me». A guy friend of mine had once told me that women analyze way too much when a man likes our pictures. We giggle like little girls and overanalyze what it could mean, when all it is to a man is a like he didn’t really put much thought into. And this is what I was afraid. Rejection. That it was REALLY just a game, nothing more, nothing less. But alcohol didn’t let me think, and when I don’t think, I don’t analyze, and when I don’t analyze, I just ACT. And so I did. I sent him what was in my mind, a simple and straight to the point message of «You’re Hot». That is all I remember and then I spaced out into a blank space. The next morning I woke up to see he had replied «You too» with an emoticon with hearts in its eyes. And then «Why Athens? Come to Thessaloniki. Let’s go away the following weekend». A mix of happiness and confusion rushed into my head, and after what seemed to be the longest 2 minutes of my life reading his response, I replied. A non-drunk message this time. He was sweet, I was shy. He found it funny when I explained to him I was quite drunk when I sent him the message. In fact he was glad, and he confessed if I didn’t message him first he wouldn’t have waited long to have sent me either. And then he asked me the question. The question which made my heart stop. « So, do you want to leave with me the following weekend? » And I did a mistake. For a minute or two, I began to think. What happens if he is a freak? I don’t know him very well. What will I tell my mother? And a hundred other questions which nearly made my head explode. My brain was telling me to say NO but my heart was telling me to say YES. Once again I was afraid of the future, of the unexpected, of the unknown. But something inside me suddenly changed. I had never done this before and somehow I trusted him. I trusted he wouldn’t let me down. Besides, they say the only regrets are the chances you didn’t take. So I accepted. All week we exchanged messages, talked on the phone and he was sending me photos of the place we would stay and we couldn’t hide our excitement.
That weekend I got on the plane and I went to Thessaloniki. My heart couldn’t stop pounding, my stomach had butterflies and I couldn’t stop blushing with the thought that I would see him. This was actually happening! When I saw him, the first thing I did was run up to him and wrap my arms around him as I hugged him. I may have never met him from close but somehow I felt so close to him. And so our journey began. I mounted into his car and we drove off to our destination of Chalkidiki. On the way we wouldn’t stop talking, teasing each other, laughing, joking around and singing to the music on the radio. I felt so comfortable, so happy. That little shy girl was gone. I made a promise to that little girl, that whatever happens, she must live the moment end enjoy every single piece of it. The feeling was great.
We stayed at an amazing camping surrounded by nature which he so well organized for it to be ready for us when we would arrive. We went to the beach every morning, we swam, we tanned, we ate, we showered, we went out for drinks, to parties, took endless pictures, and above all we had fun. It was all calm, beautiful, relaxing like a wave gently crashing against the shore. But there was something I came to realize. I had told myself to «live the moment» so much that I forgot about analyzing the situation. I shut off that little girls emotions because I wanted her to live, laugh and love every single moment with him instead of thinking, analyzing and being afraid of all those lost emotions she would seek in him but wouldn’t be able to find. Truth to be told girls, we had a great time but sometimes what we expect is different from reality. YES we had fun but NO there was some cracks here and there which lead me to believe this couldn’t lead to anywhere so I had to enjoy with what I had. Sad but true. My only advice is to take your heart but take your mind too. I knew this was a relationship that wouldn’t last. Let’s be honest, I can’t do long distance relationships, we both agreed we respect each other but aren’t ready to commit for a relationship and well… truth to be told…with him it could be all fun and games, but he wouldn’t be able to give me what I would truly want if ever did want to commit. Excitement and reality are two separate things. The excitement was fun for what it lasted which is what lead to all our exchanges of messages before I met him but reality is what made us both understand that it could only last for the weekend. That long weekend for me was like going out on a night in which I knew would never be the same again. No night (for me) ever feels the same. I always feel there is something different whether it’s the amount of stars, how bright they are, the air, the moon, my mood. It’s like a night which I know it will end but regardless I stare at the sky, smile and take every last breath before it’s over. This what I did with him. I lived what seemed to be the best weekend of my life in which I will always look back and silently smile and above all say, « I surpassed my fears and I did it». Sometimes we worry too much about being hurt, rejected or the unexpected and forget to take risks. Don’t be afraid of this, take risks and if it fails say you at least tried.
My advice to all you ladies is to never forget that life is something which won’t stop and make an exception for you. It will move on. It will move forward and you will only stay behind if you don’t grasp every single moment that you have here in this evolving world. Take every opportunity and don’t forget to enjoy your stay whilst you’re here. Life is like a party in which you’re invited. You have got to work your way through to have fun because life surely won’t do that for you. So love yourself, find that strength to at least once in your life do something crazy, something you’ve never done before and when you do, don’t cry it’s over but smile it happened. We are told in fairy tales and in movies that there are happy endings. What is a happy ending? Living happily every after? What is a happy ending for me might be different for another person. We all find that little something which constitutes to our happiness. My happiness with him was living it all and everything at all once and enjoying the simplicity of being with him when I could have been nowhere and with no one at all. Just like Bob Marley would say «love the life you live. live the life you love».
Note: Don’t do this with any total stranger, I had some background information about him so I knew where I was heading. Always be careful with Facebook.
Miss Dolores
