Your ‘Friendly’ Guide to Ice Cream in 2017
Because ice cream is the friend that will always ♪ be there for youuu ♫
Sometimes in this day and age, we just want to sit down in front of the TV in our sweats and watch reruns of Friends while eating straight out of a pint of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream.
And you totally can, at least, if you err on the less health-conscious side of the world. But this is 2017, and we are tired of the Turkey Hill and the Blue Bunny. Why should I bother with old-school ice cream in a carton when I can consume my ice cream in flake form? Why should I choose soft serve if there are healthier options that taste just as good? How in the world can ice cream be chewy?! All questions that will be answered in due time. So, in no particular order…
Liquid Nitrogen Ice Cream: the one that’s been around
So Dippin’ Dots were a thing (or they still are, depending on who you ask), but the great ice cream minds of our world have taken the flash-freezing properties of liquid nitrogen to give us ice cream ASAP. Typically, this style of ice cream is made by adding milk, cream, sugar, flavoring, and liquid nitrogen into some sort of mixer and — BAM — ice cream in under 60 seconds. Don’t worry about freezing your tongue off: the liquid nitrogen evaporates away. Super cool (pun intended).
Vegan Ice Cream: the one that just wants a chance
Ah, vegan ice cream. The most misleading of them all. Usually made up of frozen bananas, coconut milk, or cashews, the people of Pinterest have gotten pretty creative with their recipes, creating different topping and flavoring combinations in attempt to mask the fact that this ice cream is supposed to be healthy. Vegan ice cream is a much more healthy alternative to dairy, full-fat ice cream, and is a great option for those with dietary restrictions or (duh) vegans. I’ve actually tried the frozen banana thing for myself, and despite the hype, I am personally not a fan (it tastes exactly like you would think). I would rather just eat a banana with some chocolate drizzled on top. The coconut-milk based ice cream looks promising though. Vegan ice cream is pretty mainstream already, and there are tons of ice cream brands and trendy NYC shops that sell it, so if you are interested, it is very available. Check out Van Leeuwen’s ice cream, it’s a little pricey though. Also, today (Nov. 1) is world vegan day. So go out there and hug a vegan!
Thai Ice Cream Rolls: the one that wins @Instagram
If you haven’t seen rolled ice cream, you’ve probably been living under a rock, or don’t use social media. Also referred to as i Tim Pad and a bunch of other things, this style of ice cream originated in Southeast Asia and has quickly spread to America. These shops have been popping up everywhere. The thing about rolled ice cream is that it isn’t really there for the taste, it’s more for the performance and aesthetic (think of hibachi but with ice cream). The preparer takes two ice cream scrapers and chops up fruit, chocolate, nuts, etc. and mixes it with sugar and cream on a cold slab. After spreading the mixture really thin, the slab cools the cream so that is is solid enough to be rolled up. Magical.
Shaved Ice Cream: the one that only looks good on the first date
Cousin of the snow cone, shaved ice cream in itself has a lot of different variations The general process to make it is still the same: you spin slab of ice over a blade and it shaves the block down into a fluffy pile of ice. Then, you add toppings and flavorings (traditional taiwanese style is red beans, fruit, jello, boba, and condensed milk). Sometimes, the ice itself is flavored as pictured below (left).
Regarding my first date comment: because shaved ice is so light and wispy, it melts — really fast. It still tastes good, but it becomes a pile of water and toppings after a couple minutes in warmer weather (see monstrosity on right).
Mediterranean/Elastic Turkish Ice Cream: the one that’s thick and a little freaky
Lezzetli is the Turkish word for “tasty” or “delicious” and this ice cream is stretchy because it is made using natural plant fibers instead of eggs. Traditional versions of this ice cream are made with goat milk and salep, which is the ground root of wild orchids. The salep reacts with the milk with repeated beating and stretching to create a weirdly stretchy and thick texture. It’s like silly putty, but edible.
Ice Cream Bread: the one that tries too hard to be something he isn’t
I don’t know why they went around messing with the masterpiece that is known to be bread, but they did, and it can’t be undone. Ice cream bread basically consists of melted ice cream mixed with self-rising flour that is baked in the oven. The point of the ice cream is to flavor the bread, so it’s really more of a cake, but ‘ice cream cake’ was already coined by the nice people at Carvel.
Mochi: the cute one
Ice cream mochi is basically a ball of sweet rice dough that has ice cream inside of it. Mochi originates from Japan, and encapsulates a variety of different fillings (sesame filling is one popular example). I’ve made ice cream mochi with green tea ice cream before. Word of advice: save your fingers from frost bite and just buy your mochi from the store. Besides, they sell mochi at Costco now!
So this just about wraps up all the weird ice cream I could think of. If you think of any more, let me know!
Note: The reason I started all my descriptions with “the one” is because every episode of Friends is named in this manner.
Most of these desserts are actually classified as “frozen dairy desserts,” because the FDA regulates that all products labeled as “ice-cream” must be made with at least 10% dairy milk fat, be no more than 100% overrun, and weigh no less than 4.5 lbs. per gallon. Ok, but what does that mean? Basically, overrun refers to the amount of air whipped into the ice cream, so the more overrun an ice cream is, the lighter and fluffier the ice cream would be, and the less overrun an ice cream is, the heavier and denser the ice cream is. Sorry for the “click-bait,” but “Your ‘Friendly’ Guide to Frozen Dairy Desserts in 2017” didn’t have the same ring to it.