How can life turn so boring at 26 years of existence?
Boredom can be a privilege or a curse as creativity stems from boredom but lack of stimulation can also stagnate mental processing.
Is this why humans create drama? In an attempt to seek temporary stimulation, only to become stressed when it gets out of hand.
It’s very contradictory that even when you technically don’t have anything to do yet your brain feels tired to initiate anything. There is a constant, deceptive hunger and thirst to trick your brain into doing something…anything.
Mental voidness sucks all the reason to exist that it almost turns you primitive. Even the slightest stimulation commands your complete attention. The brain starts coming up with new stories or rewinds your past in painful detail to induce any kind of emotion, adding tone to dialogues, enhancing colors in the memories, searching for hidden messages, and sometimes leading to borderline hallucinations.
Sleep seems like a good option to escape the void for a moment but even that doesn’t come easily. An existence drowning in meaninglessness, without disturbing the greater universal ecosystem almost raises the question of whether you even existed at all.
You start finding pain in odd places on your body, and your head hurts in a different way. A dissociation starts setting in, and your soul seems to be floating out of your body connected by just a thin string. You begin to wonder how much tension is required for the string to snap and you to be liberated…as the answer comes, you suddenly wake up from a semi-sleepy state in a panic, wishing nobody saw you dozing off. However, the thought persists for a few moments until the next stimulation drains the remaining energy from your body.
This is painful at a primitive level, acknowledging you are nothing but a spark of meaningless dust in the whole wide world. Yet we refuse to accept that. Something deep inside us fights back to preserve our meaningless existence for one more day. That’s the beauty of biology I guess, at a cellular level our core fights to heal, live, and preserve itself, all while we grapple with boredom and contemplate the idea of ending it all.
