Because you personalized the question.. With the word “us” you were not advocating for others but for your own self interests. Leadership is advocacy. It’s how you frame the question, not which sex is asking. Communication reveals intentions. But of course the lens exists. Perhaps he may have been a sexist but I’ve worked for strong female leaders who would have found the framing of the question equally selfish and antagonistic. Especially when he was already giving bad news.
Feminist advocate in business? What next minority advocate? LBGT advocate? You sounded like a union boss.
I’ve worked for a female president who is exactly like the male leader you just described. She also would have given you your walking papers. At times she also didn’t like to be questioned, especially during meetings. Yet also kind, and dynamic. No matter how you generalize, man are not all same and neither are women.