We Only Come Out At Night

I’m sorry ma’am but you’ll have to leave.

But officer, we come here almost every night.

Ma’am, there’s a curfew and the park is closed at dusk. No one is allowed back in until daylight.

You don’t understand.

The park is closed ma’am. This is for your own safety.

But the lights are on. We do this all the time.

This is the first time I’ve seen you here after hours. I am very sorry but you’ll have to get your boy and leave.

Alex was swinging happily nearby.

How can I explain to him why we are here? Why this is so important? I guess I’ll just have to try.

Sir, if you’ll let me explain.

Ma’am, I have other calls to make and places to check. I don’t have time to debate this with you.

He pointed somewhat menacingly at the sign, which did, very clearly state “Park closes at dusk.” He walked away, guessing we would follow his orders and leave right away.

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Some nights we shop at a Walmart Supercenter. One of those that’s open 24/7. I’ll admit it took some getting used to the average type of person who would shop or even go to a Walmart after midnight. But Alex eventually got used to the bright overhead fluorescent lights, their hum, and the loud hum of the HVAC. One thing about the crowd, if you can call it that, at Walmart after midnight, is that they tend to leave each other alone. I could do my shopping, letting Alex wander the aisles ahead of me.

You can only walk around Walmart so much though, without attracting the attention of somebody behind all the bubble-looking cameras in the ceiling. I’ve been approached more than once by one of their security folks. Sometimes they just follow us. Sometimes they’ll stop and ask what we are doing.

We get some strange looks. But then from a woman in PJs and curlers or someone whose every inch of exposed skin is covered with some form of tattoo, isn't that a little bit of the pot calling the kettle?

Alex usually sleeps in the middle of the day, though he doesn’t sleep very much. Two or three hours at a time but stays awake at night. I’ve gotten used to getting by on short cat-naps when he is asleep, except when I’m cooking or cleaning or doing all the other things that come with keeping a household going.

Alex is 11. His older brother Ted, he sleeps while we are at the park; I know that doesn’t sound very safe but I’ve installed an alarm system. I put it in initially to let me know when Alex went out, not if someone was trying to get in. But it works both ways.

Rainy and cold nights are tough. But Alex doesn’t play well with others. Throwing sand or making strange noises tend to scare away other kids and most of the moms don’t handle that very well either. So to be fair …

I work during the day doing tech support over the phone. The company has been kind enough to let me work out of my home. I take calls when I can and when I need to sleep or be with Alex, I can just forward my calls to the next available agent. I get paid by the call, so it helps to take a lot of them but … Thank God for Medicaid which helps with his medical bills. He tends to get hurt a lot. I’m sure by now the folks at the ER think I’m some sort of abuser, but so far I haven’t been hot-lined!

There have been many failed attempts to do something different but this is what works for now, until now. I did not move when the Officer asked me to. He’s heading back to me.

Ma’am, I told you, you have to leave.

I hesitated then it just came out.

My son is autistic! Does that mean anything to you?

I caught him off guard with this one and he paused, mentally, to consider what I had just said.

He stood there, stunned, and then sat down next to me on the bench and started crying.

At this point I had no idea why and even less of what to do.

I called out to Alex and said we needed to go. I stood up.

The Officer reached up to grab my arm. No. Stay. You can stay.

I sat back down.

He was still crying but he blubbered out something, and then I caught it clearly.

My son is autistic.

I reached over and put my arm around him and we cried together.