Boxing, like life, is simple.

Boxing, like life, is simple.

Alas, simple is not synonymous with easy.

What? You want a free ride? Nah.

But boxing is simple:

Lou Duva or somebody says “The body never moves” 14 times a match.

Set up your punches.

Punch the other guy in the gut. Repeat as needed.

Whack the other guy in the face. Repeat as needed.

“South of the Border” is not immigration policy.

Always call the ref “Sir”.

Never ogle the ring girls until after the fight.

The worse you are, the better your cut man needs to be.

When all else fails, tell the ref that the tape on your gloves is coming loose.

If worst comes to worst, practice saying “I wanna rematch”.

Finally, “Where’s the ( — — — — — — -) doctor?” comes in handy if you’re a real tomato can. Make sure he or she has local admitting privileges.

There, boys, boxing is simple.

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