Splittin’ chores ain’t no easy task. No one likes them. No one likes to do them. But they are the dirty work that must be done to make a fair relationship and make bae thing he/she/they won the relationship lottery!
- Step one, tell your partner you’d like to discuss splitting the household tasks. Find a time to meet.
- Sit down together and make a list of all the chores needed to contribute to the home. Like going through the mail, watering the plants, making the bed… list all the things.
- Put a * next to the ones that require a lot of time (dishes, laundry, cooking)
- Take turns choosing a chore off the list that you will be responsible for. Don’t fall into the lie that you will “both do dishes.” Inevitably, one of you will do more and feel bitter. Instead, one of you takes dishes while the other takes the equally heavy task of meal planning or laundry. This helps set clear expectations of who will be responsible for what. Splitting cooking is the only exception, but make sure you talk about who will cook when.
- Remember, it is not going to be completely even. That is okay. Some people I know are just happy their partner does the dishes and that is all they need. Some people work more or less than their partners, so they may be responsible for fewer things in the house. Whatever your unique situation, make sure whatever split you come up with makes both of your life’s easier and one person doesn’t feel taken advantage of.
- Once you’re done, rewrite your list of who is responsible for what chores. Hang the list where you both will see it ALOT.
- *Most Important* Take responsibility for your chores! If you don’t do this, nothing will work. And bitterness will grow. If you said you would take out the trash, don’t wait for your partner to tell you the trash is full. Monitor your chores and take care of them. This will make your partner VERY happy and make your life easier too.
- If your partner has neglected their chores and a reasonable amount of time has passed, kindly, I mean it, kindly, mention to your partner that you are waiting for them to do their chore so you can do other things. Don’t be uptight. Don’t start a fight. Just mention it.
- Smile and love on each other. Teamwork makes the dream work. #couplesgoals
Read my other article, 6 Tips For Couple’s to Stay Sane During “The LockDown” for more relationship advice. ❤
Victoria Storr is a Marriage and Family Therapist and a School Psychologist living in San Francisco, CA. Visit her website at www.VictoriaStorr.com
