Kindergarten: Kelechi’s Big Day

August 10th, 2016 3:22pm/East African Time (EAT)- Nairobi, Kenya. I just FaceTimed Kelechi (Kay-Lay-Chee), my 5-year-old son in Florida from Kenya. Today is his first day of Kindergarten. I expressed to him how proud I am of him and told him that I loved him. In his attempt to hold his excitement in, he sucked his cheeks in lol. He had his navy blue polo uniform shirt on. Immediately, my mind wandered…. I couldn’t help but to think about March of 2011, when he came into this world. I couldn’t help but to think about the day I loaded him into our SUV, as his mother and I were bringing him home for the first time. In an effort to not cry in front of him, I quickly said “Kelechi, let’s pray”. After we prayed, I told him how proud of him I was and had to hang up. I immediately went straight to the restroom to have my moment.

Why is this day special?

I walked back to my office, closed the glass door and sat in silence. The thoughts continued. I couldn’t help but to think of so many instances. Really?!…Did 5 years go by this quick?! It was just yesterday when we brought Kelechi home from the hospital. Today, Kelechi is a son, a grandson, a nephew, a big brother and a now a student. His identity is changing. For starters, he knows what the fundamental difference is between right and wrong. Appropriate to his age-level, he will begin to try new things, he will fail at some and become great at others. He loves basketball and talks about practicing. I don’t think you caught that…..my 5-year-old understands the concept of “practice”. This is mind-blowing! Kelechi is developing a better sense of how to move about the world. Kelechi has evolved from learning how to walk at 8-months of age to learning how to read at the age of 4. I think Kindergarten is special because he is preparing to launch out into the world on his own.

Doing my Level-Best vs Fear

While this is a momentous occasion, I hope that I poured the right things into him before this year. Despite his circumstances, I hope that I did the very best that I could to ensure that his foundation was stable before this day. Prior to this year, I started having real conversations with him. Bedtime stories became more intentional. Rules and Timeouts were more deliberate. On the front and back end of every time out would be an eye-level conversation with him that always started with me affirming my love for him and ending with me telling him “I put you in time out because I love you.” Affirming him in the most genuine ways is an extremely intentional thing that I do. I believe, the more affirmation he receives from me, as a Father, the less likely he is to venture out to seek affirmation from other things that can potentially be negative (drugs, gangs, etc.).

In my fear of not wanting Kelechi to become a statistic, I read everything that I could get my hands on. In this process, I learned that there is a significant difference between the number of words he’s likely to be exposed to and how this number would have doubled, if I lived in the home with him. This was a hard truth to accept.

A Reality that FaceTime on the iPhone will NEVER substitute

Making the most of time was everything. Whenever they are around, I’m always looking at the clock and the calendar. Without fail, 24 hours prior to every return flight black to Florida, was dreadful. After every visit, I purposely did not change the sheets in their room or touch anything that they may have disorganized for about a week or two. As weird as this may sound, I wanted to preserve their scent, and their presence. While I’ll always be grateful for the advances that technology has made today, FaceTime will NEVER equate to real human interaction. A physical hug, a kiss on the cheek or a high-five, technology will never replace these things. Despite all of this, I saw and still continue to see God’s grace every step of the way. In the moments when it felt like God just wasn’t there, I tried my best to remind myself of my vantage point and juxtaposed it to God’s vantage point. In most cases, I was able to carry-on.

The day finally came…August 10th, 2016. The good news is this….my Fatherhood surely does not end here. Lord willing, before I know it, there will be a middle school graduation, a high-school graduation and a college graduation. I have a LOOONG TIME before all of that. In fact, I don’t want to even think about it lol. Until then, I’m going to just focus on making each day count, as his Father.