The ridiculously sad thing about what you have gone through, is that Clinical Depression is rampant. I have it too. Now… as I’m typing this, I am feeling somewhat OK. But it’s a long drawn out familiar feeling that returns often, and that I’ve learned to respect. Respect? Why would I dare respect depression? Well, just when I think I am ‘fixed’…. it will bite me in the #ss and here I am again, shut up in my room, wondering if I will ever be ‘me’, or is ‘this’ me?
You gave us the unvarnished truth about it. You and myself and all the others with ‘it’ will try to persevere and work within it, as if it were a new normal. We will function and live out the days we have alloted and we will have grown the seeds of compassion. Because somehow, someway….and someday…. we are going to be the one who can help the next person we come across with ‘this’. ‘This’ can not be for NOTHING. Your essay helped me, in the fact that I am not the only one. I read some of my life in your story. I can see how you can inspire others. Wish you the best dear Randy.