I went deep this weekend. I registered and immersed myself into Dr. Gabor Mate’s course, called Passionate Inquiry. Not the 1 year course. I’m taking the shorter version for now. It’ll be a journey. As I’m going through the materials, I’m getting this urge to sit down and start writing, already. When I have these moments where I get into the “zone”, when I’m deeply connected to myself, there is no other option but I just have to let it out. My thoughts. My feelings. My reflections. My conclusions. I’ve come to realize and accept that’s part of how I tick. It’s my approach of processing. It’s one way of self-expression. It’s also a structure of profound healing from the turmoils of life.
I’m pretty good with words. I know that. I’m not talking about grammar or my English skills (I’m from Europe). My grammar and structures are off at times. I know that too. And it’s okay. I’m more interested in conveying the essence of what I have to say. Its depth and substance. It’s about touching people’s hearts and soul. It brings me joy, and fulfillment. It’s my way of making a contribution and difference, all the while healing myself.
When I started writing this blog back in April of 2023, I was in deep pain. I had just broken up (the grand, final break up after 4 1/2 years) with what I thought was the love of my life. My soul mate. Unfortunately, as deep of an attachment, connection, affection and mushiness I’ve ever experienced in my life, it turned out to be a sick, toxic, twisted, antagonistic relationship entangled in lies, deceit, betrayals, cheating, gaslighting, and emotional and psychological torture. It broke me at all levels. To the core. I’ve experienced darkness I never knew existed. But, it also was a wake-up call. For details, and how I made it out of this and through the trauma-bond you can go to the beginning of this blog.
I’ve said it many times:
Sometimes it takes a crises to wake up to your own authentic truth, your authentic self.
By the way, I got that from Dr. Gabor Mate. Much of my insights and what I will be sharing is influenced by his teachings and his healing methodology rooted in trauma-based healing. He is the new Oprah. At least to me. His way of expression makes total sense.
When I started writing this blog, I created an anonymous name. I was apprehensive to write under my real name. I was concerned about putting myself out there. What if he would find my writings (him meaning my ex)? I was afraid of people judging me. I was concerned about getting backlash. So I started writing under Vega. It took some time to find a name. Most names in mythology with reference to resurgence, the cycle of death, transformation and rebirth were already taken on social media or as a domain. So after brainstorming with ChatGPT I decided on Vega.
Vega is one of the brightest stars visible from Earth.
It is located in the Lyra Constellation, 25 light years away. Hotter and more massive than our Sun. Vega has been extensively studied, it is a captivating celestial object that has contributed significantly to our understanding of the cosmos. I liked it. I thought it suits me. For much of what I converse about all has to do to finding yourself again, your spirit. It’s my desire to “significantly contribute to your understanding of your inner cosmos”.
So perhaps, if anything, through my story, my pains, my brokenness, my thoughts, the vulnerability of my writings, and the sharing of how I made it back to my own light, you might just find your own “Vega”.
Vega — leading you to your own light — one conversation at a time.
So long for now, ‘til next time!
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