Excellent, thanks for this.
You wrote: “And I feel that sense of freedom, every single time. And it has always outweighed the pain of shedding the lie.” I’m glad it’s worked that way for you.
I would have to say that sometimes (at least for me) the pain of letting go of an illusion has been so severe that any gains made from doing so were obscured and only came into my awareness later on. Struggling against distortions created by my ancestors and transmitted to me via social conditioning is a really messy and horrendously difficult (at times) process.
But…I’m an old white man and in this culture that means I was fed a serious diet of delusion and had little practice at seeing through the assumptions of superiority and right to oppress that were transmitted to me. It’s only fitting that my struggling to move closer to reality involves greater effort and pain…ya know?
Maybe how the struggle feels to shed lies depends, in part anyway, on how immersed you were in lies…I suspicion that that’s true.
I content my self with the presumption that adherence to and discernment of reality (and rejecting delusion) and is (in general at least) more nourishing for my being than the opposite. Even though sometimes it doesn’t feel that way until way later.