You wrote: “…unlearning whiteness is an ongoing process, and some need more support than others when getting through it.”

I agree totally with the thought that unlearning whiteness is an ongoing process, I’m a bit less enthusiastic about the “getting through it” part, if, by that you meant that such is achievable in any time-frame that is less than indefinite. (Note: I’m positioned as an old white man and while white women seem to be less warped by whiteness than white men…a big chunk of white women are as off the rails as the most of us white men…at least from what I can see).

This awful stuff didn’t develop quickly and it isn’t going to go away quickly.

I have one tip to offer that might be useful, in any election where it is possible, I will try to find out how African American women are voting and follow their majority. In addition to their being less poisoned by the whiteness venom, they’re less afflicted by the patriarchal delusion too…and…they dang sure are wiser than me about what in hell is going on in this society. (I’m not precluding or denying or demoting the wisdom of other marginalized groups of folks designated as women of color but rather that information about the leanings of African American women is often accessible)

Since we have multiple generations of crappy thinking and understanding to undo…we aren’t going to be able to go to the drive thru and get a happy meal of unmaleness/unwhiteness (that “happy meal thinking” is part of what created this mess)…it’s time to get to work and till the soil, plant the crops and tend their growth…and hope like hell disaster doesn’t wipe us out while we struggle to move toward harvest….we won’t get much reward out of the deal (many of us have had way too much “reward” already), it will be the children and grandchildren and great grandchildren who may reap some benefit from our efforts.

I second your thank you, thank you and thank you to women of color…y’all are the bestest of us and piss on me for not figuring that out sooner. We (white folks) must work to protect and nurture all folks belonging to marginalized groups while working on ourselves.