Your writing, in part, reminded me of the ongoing struggle over comprehending the difference between intent versus impact relating to both communication and action.
In this essay, the author observes: “For people of identity privilege, this is where listening becomes vitally important, for our privilege can often shield us from understanding the impact of our actions.”
Privilege can also operate to obfuscate our understanding of the impact of our communicating.
Communication between those who occupy identities that differ in power/privilege likely means that additional factors beyond just the content of the communicated message will require consideration. At least that’s the way I’m thinking about it right now, but hell if I manage to put that into operation very often.
Part of what continually throws me is that my culture pays tremendous lip service to the notion that “we’re all just folks” stuff while simultaneously ensuring that our identities make a tremendous difference in how we’re “seen” and treated. Our culture talks one game and actually plays another one…add that two-step to my own general ineptness and it means I screw up way more often than I get it right.
You wrote: “What I would like is to be seen for who I am.” Spot on. A big factor that prevents that from happening (I think) is that our culture doesn’t operate that way…it says it does…but it lies…our identities have much more influence on how we’re conditioned to behave and comprehend than our culture likes to openly admit. (at least it seems that way to me)
Thank you for your writings.