Of winds and waves
I try to get out of the bed silently, weightlessly. I’m not too good at it, but it’s enough — she keeps sleeping, barely moving, unaware of the extra space she has now. I smile looking at her sleeping, amazed on how such a lioness can become no more than a kitten, purring in her sleep. I try to memorize every detail of this scene before turning away.
In the living room I look at memories, things from past close and far, some still shining with the glow of recent achievements, some almost completely forgotten, the details long gone. I grab just a couple of them, the ones that are worthless to the world, and laugh at how the dull things were always the ones I was the most interested at.
Walking outside the house I feel the sand around my feet, cold and soft. The sea wind strokes my face and I walk towards the waves, which I can hear but barely see under the pale moonlight. Getting closer, I can hear them also crashing against the wooden dock and against my boat, its silhouette rocking against the sea, in a peaceful contrast with the furious waves.
I jump aboard and go straight to the cabin, lighting it up. I look at the charts while wearing my coat and gloves, taking mental notes of which stars I should follow when I leave the shore. I do have more advanced equipment, but I like the idea of using them as little as possible. There’s a poetry to letting the signs and elder gods guide the journey.
I climb back to the deck. The sky is clear, as readable as the charts on my desk, and I quickly find my way, the arrow shot by the centaur pointing the direction. I look back to the house. I wish I could say bye, but I know that she would stare into my eyes and that look would keep me here, our lives moving on but none of us fully happy. She’ll probably hate me for a while. Heck, even I hate myself a little right now, the cowardice of sailing away in the silence of the night weighing on my shoulders. But I’ve already come to terms with it, and so will she, I hope.
I set the sails lose and the sound of the wind against them fills my heart with joy for what’s to come. I ask all the winds to lead me in a good journey, and if so they wish, one day I’ll return to this shore. And maybe, by that time, I’ll fold the sails and remain docked.
