I know our hurt attracted one another to heal: A poem for friendships and relationships.

Will you accept me
As I am
Without asking me to change
A thing ?

Will you speak gently
when I upset you?
If I don’t agree with you,
Will you breathe ?

Will you have compassion for my pain?

Will you see the small child I was who felt unsafe?

Will you see how my hurt parents hurt me without meaning to?

Will you hold me tightly when my footing feels shaky?

Will you feel me as love
and be a source of love?

Will you try not to be disappointed in me for not being who you want me to be?

And if the path is not smooth, as two paths of hurt people never are,
Will you be patient?

When I act defensive or self-righteous, will you gently remind me but not scold me?

When I act judgmental, will you steer me softly?

When I am afraid, will you listen?

When I am angry, will you just allow the anger without fixing it?

My anger has nothing to do with you, and your anger has nothing to do with me. Maybe we could yell together but not at each other.

Will you help me with my tone and facial expressions?
It’s not something I can directly see.

Will you shine a light on my blind spots like a lighthouse in the night,
And be patient if I don’t see them immediately?

Because I know our hurt attracted one another to heal.

In truly joining together, new things are born,
but no one said birth was easy.

Sure, we could try complacency. 
But that would be a waste of possibility.

In our deepest love for one another, there’s a chance
that finally there is a safe space to grow.

If we nurture one another as the seeds that we are and not put timelines and expectations on one another, there is hope.

Does nature stand outside the butterfly cocoon and demand it grow faster?

No.

She gives it a protective layer to help it withstand the external elements.

Nature wants the butterfly to fly.

Will you fly with me?

RESPONSE:

I will accept you as you are without asking you to change.

I will speak gently when you upset me.

If I don’t agree with you, I will breathe.

I will have compassion for your pain.

I will see you as the small child you were who felt unsafe.

I will see how your hurt parents hurt you without meaning to.

I will hold you tightly when your footing feels shaky.

I will feel you as love and be a source of love.

I will try not to be disappointed in you for not being who I want you to be.

I will be patient.

I will remind you gently but not scold you when you are being defensive and self-righteous.

I will steer you softly when you are judgmental.

I will listen when you are afraid.

I will allow your anger and not try to fix it.

I will help you with your tone and facial expressions.

I will shine a light on your blind spots and be patient if you don’t see them immediately.

Yes, I will fly with you.