What sort of a spectator are you?
And how it is effecting you
We all understand that our life is primarily about ourselves and to some degree also about the people that we are surrounded by.
And just like we speculate and analyse our own lives, we also witness lives of others.
Not sincerely calling it gossip, but we, even in our heads, to ourselves, end up spectating their highs and lows, their achievements and failures, their lifestyles and sacrifices that probably led to those.
One has heard it since the earliest days of childhood- “A friend in need is a friend indeed”.. and we all expect to be our empathetic and compassionate selves in case a downward spiral engulfs them.
Today, we discuss how we really think when they are doing well.
And I will tell you the reason why.. in the end. Basically answering — Why do I need to behave Myself while someone else is Succeeding?
There are 3 types of spectators thinking broadly-
- The Cheerleader-
It could be anything. Be it a financial achievement, a better paying job, a much wanted weight loss, a new gadget, any thing that they desired- they have achieved it. And How? Be it due to sheer hard work, smart work, change in lifestyle, constant motivation or sheer luck.
Irrespective of the way they achieved it.
If you’re genuinely happy when they’re happy, you fall in the cheer leader squad.
This one’s my favourite.
2. The Jealous-
The feeling is quite known, and the word is overused these days I feel. The voice in your mind that says-
“Damn! How did they ever achieve this?”
And not in a good way. That is jealousy.
It potentially has two sides to its coin- few believe it might end up motivating oneself to do better in life too.
But if your basic instinct for a fellow being is not being happy on their success, you seriously need to re-evaluate yourself first.
3. The Envious-
This is the elder cousin of the previous category. Whilst The Jealous is a snobby sulk, this one is a step forward. Envy makes sure not only one emits downhearted vibes but also desires that horrible occurrences befall them.
Wishing someone totally ill, all the time, in one’s heart, mind and soul.
That’s pure envy.
And, without a doubt, this one is my least favourite.
Needless to overemphasise, please, please — never fall in the third category. Because the way one treats others is a complete reflection of how they treat themselves. So the next time you find yourself going in that direction, try to remind yourself of the phrase- “What goes around, comes around.”
What you sow now, is what you will reap- that’s for sure.
Now, circling back to WHY we are discussing our behaviour during someone’s success is — pretty simple actually. We’ve all heard this saying-
“Thoughts become reality”
And out of all the skills that we are taught right since our childhood, rarely does any one pay attention to teaching us How To Think.
Its not taught in schools or tuitions or university, nor play groups, rarely does that come up as a discussion in the family, or friends.
Especially, not how to think when one sees prosperity in someone else’s life. Because, hell yeah, we need to be taught specifically that.
Its often a by-product of observation, and the sources could be many- even as futile as a TV show.
Its time to unlearn and learn a few skills, and a few How Tos. And let’s start with our thoughts- How To Think.
As always, I hope my thoughts created some stir in yours and together, we work towards creating a more positive approach towards each others and our own selves. I’d love to hear from you if you’ve been working on unlearning or learning new skills.
Until next month, happy reading!
