How to avoid toxic people
We all have met them at some point in our lives: people who drain our energy, always bring us down without a real reason and leave us behind with the bittersweet feeling of sheer uncomfort. Sadly, quite a lot of these people exist out there and if you happen to come across someone like that, there is only one thing you can do about it: Avoid them at all costs.
If you are aiming for a life full of positive energy, self-fulfillment, great friendships and true love — what we all should strive for no matter what– those people can mess this up really badly. And no surprise, spending too much time with toxic people doesn’t only limit the chances of our private luck but also decreases our success rate in business. In the end we are all human and we just don’t work well with a a constant raincloud over our heads (unless you are a real masochist in which case I would urgently recommend therapy!). I can call myself quite experienced on how to deal with toxic people — sadly I’ve met a couple of these vicious individuals in my life not to mention that I’ve even dated one for over a year. I decided it makes more sense to share the things I learned with you from this dark part of my life rather than pity myself for all the bad things that happened because of it
Here are some points on how to discover, deal with and get rid of a toxic person.
Because we all deserve a life full of personal freedom, happiness and true love. All this a toxic person will never be able to give you — it is that simple!
How to identify a toxic person. There is this saying “People might forget what you’ve done or what you’ve said but they will never forget how you made them feel.”
I believe one of the main characteristics of a toxic person is that no matter the circumstances you do not feel completely good in their presence. They make you feel uncomfortable by just being around them and when they leave you feel somehow exhausted. Of course there are different levels to this, but a person who is good for you doesn’t make you more anxious or nervous than you should be. Another main mark is that toxic people love to always put themselves in the spotlight for the cost of others or they are so stubborn with their opinion they won’t even let others come to their point. Most of them aso know everything better and are blidsides to different opinions and viewpoints. The list could be endless but if a person doesn’t make you happy or feel better than there is no reason to continue a relationship with them.
There is no space for bullshit. Toxic people will mostly know it all better and will try to use you for their games just because they want to. The intelligent ones will make you question your level of intelligence by trying to justify their opinion with things like statistics or surveys. Everyone is different and what might apply to the majority of a certain group doesn’t mean it has to apply to you. Most of the theories they come up with are just pure bullshit anyways. And we ain’t got time for that!
Don’t give them power over you. It’s close to impossible to engage in a healthy discussion with toxic people. They will always have their way and also try to force their opinion on you. Even though you should always stand up for yourself especially when mistreated but toxic people wouldn’t understand it. They don’t see the bigger picture and will most likely never get your point. If you go against them they will only want to fight more. So the best thing you can do is ignore them as much as possible so they have absokutely no power over you.
Never, ever apologize for who you are. This is one of the most important life lessons I’ve learned so far: No matter whom you talk to or work with never, ever apologize for who you are, where you come from, what your parents do or what you want in life. This is no ones business and no other human being has the right to criticize you because of it. Still, we all want to be loved and respected but the people who will do so would never question you because of who you are. They will like you no matter what.
You will never be able to change them. No matter how hard you try it is one of the hardest things in the entire world to change a toxic person for the better. I always want to see the best in people, even the toxic ones, which sadly is a weakness those people love to take advantage of. Some people just can’t be helped no matter how much love and good intentions you are willing to give them. It is sad but trying to change a toxic person for the better will just make you very unhappy. The need to find a way on their own. Or hire a psychiatrist.
Stop wasting your time. Toxic people usually have the ability to suck a lot of life out of you. These are moments you will never get back and just imagine what you could do in all this time you are listening to their bullshit. I think a person who doesn’t appreciate you the way you are and who makes people actualy feel worse about themselves is nothing more than a complete waste of time.
Don’t be scared to cut them off for good. I know it is hard to let people go whom you’ve developed a close friendship with. But if that person constanly criticizes you or always complains about the things you do, this person is being very unsupportive. I’ve decided I’m much better off with people who lift me higher instead of bringing me down. After I stopped spending time with a certain toxic person it felt like I could finally breathe again. Even if it takes some time, this relief is definitely worth it!
Realize that you deserve nothing but the best. We all have hopes and dreams and goals that we want to come true. Still, sometimes we limit the opportunities for us to reach them by thinking we might not deserve it because we can’t just have everything or we don’t want to be too pushy or greedy and should be content with what we have. Yes, you should be grateful for what you have and appreciate it but there is no rule that tells us we cannot have it all. We should strive for having it all and never give up fighting for it. In the end we all deserve nothing but the best and everyone who tells you otherwise clearly doesn’t want the best for you!