How is your kid’s emotional intelligence? Is it …

Veronica Farr
Aug 8, 2017 · 3 min read
Is it This?
Or is it This?

Bill Watterson has given us great examples of emotional intelligence and lack there of, through our sweet Calvin and Hobbes. Psychology experts explain emotional intelligence as the ability to identify and manage your own emotions and social interactions. It is a better predictor of future success and overall happiness. I’ll order a bowl of emotional intelligence please. The good news, your emotional intelligence can be developed. Having a high level of emotional intelligence helps a child develop into a responsible, productive and happy adult. YES!!!! Some studies show that having high emotional intelligence is more important than a super high IQ in terms of having a successful life.

What can we do to improve our children’s emotional intelligence?

1. “Hellllooooo???!!! No one is listening to me!”

Children who have high emotional intelligence are raised in households where they are allowed to express their own thoughts, feelings, and make observations. It is easy to just shut them down and tell them they are wrong but that tells them their emotions are worthless. When discussion is allowed, they see the value of sharing ideas and their communication skills improve.

2. “Why can’t someone else take out the garbage?”

Allow for input in the household rules and dynamics. This helps a child feel as if they have some control in their life. They will learn to negotiate and see the value of compromise. They will become more cooperative and more patient. What was once unfair will now make more sense.

3. “Jeez Louisssse, you are such a nag!”

Children watch everything a parent does, so it’s important that the parents demonstrate what healthy communication looks like. Not only should parents carefully listen to and respond to each other, they should show the same respect to their children. Treat children as real people, and they will grow up feeling important.

4. “I’ve decided to become an insectivore.”

When your child expresses emotions or beliefs that you do not agree with, it’s important to be respectful, nurturing and supportive of them. You want to keep the communication open. If you disagree, do so respectfully with a lot of discussion. They will learn that it is ok to disagree with loved ones in a loving way. Children should know that it’s okay to feel differently than other people. They will see the value of their own opinions and the opinions of others. They will not be influenced by peer pressure because they will feel comfortable with standing up for their own views.

5. “I gave Johnny all of my crayons. Again.”

The best way to teach your child healthy boundaries is by example. When children see their parents inconvenienced and stressed by friends and family, they learn that this is normal. The child observes how mom and dad interact with others, how they help others, and how they let other people treat them. So parents, no more hiding when the nosy neighbor comes-a-knockin. Set your boundaries.

6. “I am going to hide in the woods and don’t come find me.”

Good problem solving skills need to be modeled for children. Parents of children with high emotional intelligence don’t hide issues from their children such as work problems, financial problems, and even disagreements. They instead demonstrate good problem solving skills to their children. Of course you don’t want to frighten your children with too much information. Children can learn that even when things are not so great you have people around you for support and you will work together to bounce back.

The key take-away

Nurturing emotional intelligence in your children is through respect, communication, and modeling it for them. Strong emotional intelligence will build a healthy self-esteem, develop compassion, and help navigate tricky social situations.

schooladvice.info

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