Why It’s So Important for My Life and Businesses to #BeLaidBare
Whether this is the first time you’ve ever encountered me in Internet Land, or this be your gazilionth time because we’re friends, I figure I’d write about this concept of #belaidbare once and for all, and not piecemeal it out over various verbal and online conversations.
In the past, I always had something MAJOR to hide that affected my life.
When I was four, I was sexually molested by my babysitter’s son. It went on until I was nine or ten. My babysitter “caught us” once, and I remember being pulled aside and chastised for being inappropriate at such a young age, and to “not do it again”. I never told a soul.
When I was 12, my uncle (dad’s older brother) began molesting when we went on a family vacation to somewhere international….Virgin Islands or Mexico or something like that. It went on until I was 15 when I put an end to it. He eventually got put in jail for 75 months in 2006. Before everything came out, I had to pretend life was peachy, because he was such a beloved member of our family.
When I was 15, I entered into a relationship with someone who was already coupled with someone in my family. She was 17 years older than I was. We kept our affair a secret for 8 years before it all came out. No.one.knew.a.thing. The relationship was unhealthy and abusive. I was gaslighted constantly. This relationship really shaped my unhealthy and distorted view about love.
I also thought I was a fraud when I entered the kink community. I ended up partnering with someone who wasn’t the Dominant that I was looking for; we just weren’t a good match at all kink-wise. Don’t get me wrong, I loved him very much. So even though I was openly out about being kinky, deep down, I felt that I wasn’t truly living the kink life and relationship I had desired for over a decade.
I’m not here for a pity party, because these major secrets helped shaped who I am today. For that, I don’t regret a thing.
In all honestly, I have to give credit to my wonderful transformational life and business coach turned friend, Marissa Loewen, for coming up with my philosophy of being laid bare. Fast forward to 2016 when I was building my systems/business efficiency consulting agency, I randomly told Marissa that it would be fun do my webinars topless/naked.
The first thing she said was. “Just don’t stand up”, and the second thing she said was, “That’s it! That’s your business name: Business Laid Bare. You help companies strip away the things they don’t need, so that they can build a thriving and growing business from the ground up starting with systems.”
From there, everything made sense. I took a look at my own life, and realized that the concept of being laid bare was everything I had strived to be but couldn’t.
Because I hid SO much of my life in the past, I seemed to do everything I could to be free, to make my own choices, live life by my own rules, and to truly walk my own path.
Like my college degree for instance. I combined 3 majors into one (Civil & Environmental Engineering, Product Design, and Management Science & Engineering) because I didn’t want to be forced to choose just one. In my mind, they all had to work together for me to feel like I was taking my Stanford education and life into my own hands.
To “be laid bare” means unapologetically living my life according to my rules. Freedom.
And it also doesn’t hurt that I enjoy being naked, too. To be laid bare is my way of being authentic. But, as we know, authenticity is such an overused buzzword.
Living a life laid bare doesn’t mean that I share everything about my life. Not at all. But, if a part of my story or experience can help someone from 1) making the same mistakes I did or 2) is educational to help them grow, then I gladly share.
It’s an amazing feeling to be able to find a concept that I can resonate with in life and in business in the same manner.
Business Laid Bare strips away the stuff businesses don’t need that prevent them from growing and making the impact they envisioned. I like to think of systems as the perfect bra that fits the way it’s supposed, accentuates all the best curves, and ultimately gives you the support you need to grow your business confidently.
Desires Laid Bare is a monthly membership where kickass action-takers come together to explore who they really are or want to be through exploring kink and connecting with people who are also on this journey. Inside the membership, members have the permission to explore and be exactly who they are in a safe and supported environment, so that they can be their most confident, unapologetic, and empowered selves in life.
Whatever business ventures I create in the future, it’ll be “Something” Laid Bare, living and breathing the Laid Bare brand.
To #BeLaidBare means:
- Stripping away the shit that doesn’t serve you or your happiness
- Living the life that you want despite what anyone else says
- Going for your dreams as 100% you
- Stepping in your power confidently, even if you have baggage, because you’re cognizant of it and are working on letting it go
- Embracing imperfection, learning, growing, and expanding as you
- Being raw and vulnerable, because you know that you’re protected by you
- Walking your talk
- Being fucking happy in your own skin