Reconnecting with myself: Body, Mind & Soul (through “me” dates)

I consider myself a passionate person. But not that long ago I felt I had lost it.

I had lost my connection with my body.

It would make me cry, I would feel numb and hollow.

I wasn’t brave enough to deal with the source of that.

I’m happy now. It took me about a year to reconnect with my body.

“Your face is not grey anymore!”
— a friend told me recently.

This year, 2018, is dedicating to exploring myself.

My gender.

My femininity.

My masculinity.

The color of my nails.

The style of my hair.

The color of my hair.

My lingerie.

Everything.

Still, don’t expect too much of a difference on the outside.

I’m working on making a difference on how it feels on the inside —

The difference in how I relate to my body, my mind, and my soul

“Me” dates are great for that.

It’s not their duration.

It’s not their place.

It’s not the activity that matters.

It’s their purpose.

Today was a series of “me” dates for me.

I took a long, hot shower.

My shoulders relaxed.

I put on my face cream.

Touching the skin on my face felt amazing.

Familiar, yet new and refreshing.

“Me” dates are to continuously love and show love to yourself.

I used to think body lotion was bullshit.

Why would I want my body to smell like melon?

I hate melon.

Why would I want to put chemicals on my body?

Why would I want my skin to be sticky or oily after the lotion?

Why does it have to be moisturized?

I mean, did our ancestors use body lotions?

I don’t know. Maybe they used grease.

Well, I moisturized my body today.

It felt amazing.

It smelled like cherry blossom.

I did it for the self love.

Moisturizing my skin was like rewarding my body.

I could see my calm smile in the mirror.

I also saw the glitter on my hands from the body lotion.

It made me laugh and I sent a picture of my glittery hands to my sister.

She was pleased that I was doing something “girly”.

I was pleased that I was doing something “girly”.

Because I enjoyed it.

Because after all, for over 30 years I hadn’t done anything considered girly, so it’s no longer expected from me.

Now I can enjoy it!


I have broken the “me” dates down into 3 types by their purpose and have included a few examples to illustrate how they can be different.

They are a mix of self-exploration, discovery, and development.

Sooth your soul

  • I often listen to jazz
  • I am planning to go to a soul or R&B gig soon (hopefully next week)
  • Sometimes I look at myself in the mirror, I see into my soul, as if I’m on a first “me” date (spooky, but it works great for me!)
  • Others like my girlfriend, go to museums, galleries, read a book in a cafe.

Feed your senses

  • I take myself for a treat, e.g. brunch
  • Some mornings, I do yoga
  • Feeding your senses can take many other forms — from watching an exciting movie, through dancing on your own or treating yourself to a massage, or literally pleasuring yourself (great article by Dr. Chris Donaghue).

Relax your mind / decompress

  • I read
  • I write an article like this one
  • I sit somewhere, at a cafe or just a random place, and watch the pedestrians who walk by
  • I put things down to digest the thoughts and move on
  • I do an active sport that doesn’t allow me to think about anything else, but focus on it — e.g. skiing
  • Some people leave their phone at home and just go for a walk
  • Others take music / language / cooking classes, so they can master a new skill.

I didn’t know I was having a “me” date

When I moved to Dublin, I used to go to Kaph cafe for a shot of espresso every morning before work. It grounded me, it was my anchor. Kaph was my second home in Dublin.

When I lived in Bulgaria, my second home was a bar for craft beers called Kanaal. I have been there probably over 300 times. I used to check-in on foursquare and kept track of the first 200 visits.

The thing is I don’t drink coffee anymore. It was giving me spikes of energy and then strong crashes. I decided to balance it all out by removing caffeine from my diet.

A couple of weeks ago I went to a gastroenterologist and they diagnosed me with IBS. To keep it manageable now I don’t drink alcohol. It also comes with a diet. I can’t eat much/any sweet, spicy, or fried food, and a bunch of other things.

That was one of the reasons why I have decided to move from food/drinks related “me” dates to more soulful ones, like taking myself to a gig.

Want to go to a “me” date?

Tell me what’s on your mind and I can tell you what kind of a “me” date to go to.

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