Looking Back so I can Look Ahead
Looking back is important in order to plan where you are going next. I enjoy looking through my Facebook memories every morning. As I looked back to remember my fellowship journey with Veterans in Global Leadership, formerly known as Veterans4Diplomacy, two items stood out: my application to VGL and a photo from the 2015 VGL Leadership Summit.
The application:
The photo:
Reflecting back on Dr. Bonnadonna’s quote, the one “motherfucker” I struggle constantly to prove wrong is my own self-doubt. It is a strong voice that tells me, “you’re not an artist”, “you don’t have anything important to say”, “who are you to do this”, and many more disparaging thoughts. To combat those thoughts, I try to tell myself every day that I can do this.
As a choreographer, my art is inspired and driven primarily by my military experience. When I was younger, I idolized the countless military individuals that taught me life lessons: my grandfather (US Army, Korea) who taught me loyalty, my soccer coach (US Marine) who taught me endurance, and my uncles (US Marine, Army, Air Force) who taught me good judgment — they are just a few examples.
So, when I was looking for a career that was different from ballet dancing, I went about as far in the other direction as I could, and joined the US Marines.
Through my military service, I was able to experience different cultures and people, conflict, diplomacy, and humanitarianism. Similarly, when looking at a program to continue to look deeper into those experiences, it was my network of Fulbright Scholars that solidified my aim to apply for an award. Fulbright is a unique program aimed at increasing mutual understanding, the exchange of ideas, and culture between people of the US and people from other countries through science, public service, academe, business, government, and most importantly to me, the arts.
If you were to ask Jayson Browder, founder of VGL, about my early visions of a Fulbright application, you might see a smile wryly crawl across his face. I remember explaining to him and my VGL mentor that my goal was to run choreographic workshops in refugee camps in Turkey. They helped me realize that, while not impossible, this project was highly improbable. In 2015, after writing my first draft of ideas and discussing them with some of VGL’s connections in Turkey, I realized that my ideas needed to be flushed out a bit more. So, I tabled my idea and application and moved forward with my dancing and choreography career in the US.
In 2016, a UK theatre director reached out to me about my work connecting choreography and war. His inquiry inspired research into the US-UK Fulbright where I learned I could realize both of my initial VGL goals: I could run workshops with veterans in the UK, and I could deepen my choreographic practice. I started working on my application and reached out to VGL for help. Even though my fellowship was over, VGL helped me through the application process, connecting me with a former Fulbrighter who helped me craft my application. In 2017, to my delight, I was awarded a Fulbright Scholarship to the Trinity Laban Conservatoire in London and was invited to stay on through 2019 to complete my Master of Fine Arts in Choreography.
The Fulbright in the UK turned out better than I ever could have imagined. Through this program, I have been able to lecture and choreograph throughout the UK and Europe traveling to Belfast, Ireland; Logroño, Spain; Valetta, Malta; and all over Britain. I collaborated on a new choreographic work that premiered at the new US Embassy in London and premiered a new iteration of my choreographic research at King’s College London in collaboration with the War Studies Department. I also connected with Soldier’s Arts Academy, a UK charity that connects military veterans to the performing arts. At the Soldier’s Arts Academy, I ran workshops in conjunction with the Royal Foundation and was Head of Marketing for their West-End London run of their play Soldier On. And recently, I wrapped up working with Square on a film covering the story of my work, as well as the other amazing people that are connected and helped by it.
Nothing quells my self-doubt better than meaningful work, and I am proud of my work here.
Through VGL, I also found that I have a passion for mentorship. As a mentor to a VGL fellow this year, I am able to pass along all the wonderful information that helped me through my journey. My mentee, Rebecca, has just submitted her application for a Fulbright Scholarship in Australia (fingers crossed). Rebecca, like me, struggles with confidence, making it hard to network and put ones-self out into the world. Because we have similar struggles, I am able to help Rebecca with tips, stories, and exercises in order to build her toolbox and prepare her for her wonderful VGL journey. We recently conducted an online session designed to prepare her for interviews and talk about her story and her goals. We’ve been working together for a few months and after the session, it was clear Rebecca could fully articulate her vision and goals. Hopefully, when she’s in Australia, she can look back at her Facebook memories and remember the VGL Leadership Summit in Washington, DC, where her VGL journey started, and all of the support it offered. And through that experience, instead of self-doubt, I hope she finds fulfillment and purpose by listening to the voice that tells her that she can do it…just like I try to do every day.
Roman Baca is a 2015 Veterans for Global Leadership Alum and current Mentor and is a 2017–2018 US-UK Fulbright Trinity Laban Conservatoire of Music and Dance Awardee. Roman is currently completing his MFA in London, England where he lives with his lovely wife and Siamese cat. Roman is currently researching, choreographically, the impact of military training on the body and mind.
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