Thank you Alto for this intimate and all too raw and real perspective. I have written about my own experience losing my wife and partner previously on the site in “Forgive Yourself, Pal…” and other pieces. Except in my case I was there and cared for her every minute of the last 6 hours of her life (and previous 3 years). And yet I was; and on bad days still am, wracked with guilt that I could have done something more. It is a perverted notion that we are resolute in our service to another, often the greatest love of our lives, and still we are tormented with fears that something was missed. In a world of flightly, throw away relationships, a solemn pledge to be there for another no matter what is one of the most beautiful and humbling callings I can envision. Knowing what I know and even though many days were a living hell, I would do it all over again if asked. The primary caregiver/partner/lover’s journey is one that requires more illumination, empathy and acknowledgment. You’ve done a tremendous service here and I admire much of your work. Be well.