Hi Christopher, in reading your story, the poetry of David Whyte comes to mind. Have you heard of him? In the below interview he and the interviewer talk about “living the question” (1:06:45).

He goes on to describe that changing careers is a daunting prospect and most of us don’t even ask the question (eg. “Am I happy with my work?”) because we’re afraid the answer might be no. And if so, then we have to confront many obstacles or just accept the unhappiness.

His advice is that you don’t have to do anything but continue to ask the question and it will lead you on a new path. I think it’s great that you are “living the question.”

My apologies if this oversimplifies your situation. I’ve not struggled with alcohol as you are describing but I’ve worked in ad agencies for many years and know what it’s like for alcohol to be an integral and expected part of the job.

Wishing you well.