Outside of the therapist’s box

The world can be a lonely place when you don’t quite fit in with the world around you. Life can feel like that of a lone butterfly looking for a place to land.

As an only child with few kids in the neighborhood, I spent time with my parents. I was the kid with adults.

Although I didn’t have the words or awareness growing up, I was also culturally pretty separate from everyone. Out of just a handful of other Asian kids in the school, I was also the kid who didn’t have immigrant Asian parents, so it’s not as if I felt similar to other Asian kids I knew.

In graduate school as a Ph.D. student, I was the student who didn’t like to animately discuss research. Did I mention that I chose to attend a large university and received funding through research? Each lab meeting, each class, and each conference felt too much like a huge dose of egotism and conflict (both of which are strict no-nos in Japanese American culture).

Now, as a therapist, you could say that I don’t fit the mold…again. As a trained researcher, I’ve become a clinician. Having a service-oriented career, I’ve embraced being an entrepreneur. Living in a primarily White, rural area, my business has a name that is ethnic-sounding.

In contrast to growing up and in graduate school, however, I have figured something out:

Having a knack for being outside of the box is an asset. The key is to cultivate individuality within a context of connectedness. This happens naturally when we understand and value who we are.

It’s an impossible task to connect with people when you are trying to be someone you aren’t. Only when we understand and value who are can we find the types of connections which feel natural and are compelling. We start to attract people who fit easily into our lives. The more that I have had a clearer vision of who I am, the more I have found meaningful connections with people.

These days, I see myself as a creative thinker, compassionate therapist, and human who likes to have fun. Not accidentally, I’ve found myself to be surrounded by other creative thinkers who are deeply kind and joyful people. My days have experiences that I find fulfilling and nurture the type of energy that I believe is needed in life. What more could this out-of-the-box therapist want?

Wish to connect or hear more? Follow me here at Medium. Fellow professionals, I also invite you to connect with me on LinkedIn. I write on lessons learned as a therapist, with a bit of fun and light. I am a licensed psychologist specializing in the treatment of anxiety and insomnia, and I have been running a practice focused on the mind-body connection since 2017. It’s called, Ayama Psychotherapy and is located in PA.