Tips For Surviving The Apocalypse From The Author Who Predicted This Exact Scenario

Vicky Kuperman
5 min readMar 29, 2020

When my co-author, Isabella Patrick, and I set out to write our political satire How to Spy on Your Neighbor: Your Survival Guide for the United States of Russia shortly after the 2016 Presidential election of Donald Trump, we knew we were onto something. What we didn’t know was that we were full-on oracles!

Both Soviet-Jewish refugees, we grew up between two worlds: physical and mental. Physically, we lived and thrived within our privileged freedoms of the United States. Mentally, we were reminded daily throughout our childhoods by our families of the hard, cold truths of living under totalitarian rule. These memories and traumas stay with immigrants and refugees from Communist countries long after they settle here. Did I say daily? Yeah, daily. We were reminded daily. Which made us the perfect experts to let Americans know what they were in for now that Russia had interfered in our election and democratic process and the complacency that followed.

In early 2017, we scrambled to write the book at lightning speed, covering what every aspect of life would look like now that we were headed towards autocracy. And I would be remiss to not point out the eeriness of the first chapter’s title: “Surviving the Apocalypse in Four-Inch Heels.” Which brings us to today. Oh boy, does it ever! Here we are, with an administration who allowed a pandemic to spiral out of control in the United States, an alleged “Superpower.” This has left us fending for ourselves with Soviet-style empty shelves, misinformation, propaganda straight from the top, chaos, and the most vulnerable populations not getting the resources they need. You can’t make this sh*t up. And apparently, we didn’t!

So I’m going to go ahead and take a page (or two) out of my own playbook and offer up some revised tips for surviving the coronapocalypse in the #UnitedStatesOfRussia:

Empty grocery store shelf in NYC, March 2020

Tip #1: Food Rations & The Potato

Due to impending food supply shortages, prepare to eat a lot of starch. And by starch, I mean potatoes. It’s best you learn how to grow your own potatoes in…