Finding true love
My experience with Ayahuasca
This is part 2 out of 3 of my series about leaving the comfort zone, if you want to read the first part, click here.
Before I start talking about the Ayahuasca ritual, I must say São Paulo is amazing. I live in Rio de Janeiro, which is a very big (and beautiful) city, with many beaches and breathtaking views. But something in São Paulo captivated me.
The city gives me this sense that people are always working towards something, instead of the chill vibe that Rio gives me. It also felt more inclusive, but that may be just a feeling, and not the truth. The only other place I had the same thoughts was in New York, which I had the great opportunity to visit shortly a few years ago.
It’s incredible that in the same place that people are so focused in the physical type of work and the common urban life, there is a place such as the shamanic cabin that I went to.
It was a little bit far from the rest of the city, and the night dropped on the way. We had to take two buses to get there, and walk a few minutes on a dirt road with our cellphones as lanterns to avoid a few puddles. It was raining lightly, but I didn’t mind it at all: the cold water on my skin could not put down the joy my friends and the small anxiety were bringing me.
As we reached the cabin, I felt amazed. The energy in the place was great and peaceful. Everybody there seemed to be in search of something greater, and there were nothing but friendly (and some anxious) faces.
After a beautiful speech from the master of the cerimony, we drank the tea. It was one of the best experiences in my life.
I’m not going to share the whole experience, because it was very personal, but I can tell you the parts that I know that I must spread.
What the Ayahuasca showed me was amazing. At first, I was on a very dark place, but as the singer on the shamanic band kept going with her beautiful voice, I started to notice a few patterns. Colorful circles and shapes, all spinning slowly. I drafted inside them, as if I was being carried away.
I felt small and huge, it felt like everything that happened in my life lead me to that exact moment. A series of chaotic events inside a much bigger order.
I asked how I could heal my wounds from the past, and for a while the only phrase that kept on a loop in my mind was: There is no cure for what is not broken.
And then, I felt like I was overflowing with love. All the love I had been keeping from myself and from the world was scattering below my feet. It had the shape of light pink petals (like the one in the drawing). They clustered the darkness in which I found myself.
“Love is the key to everything in life” a voice said in my head. “Love can conquer and heal anything, but it has to come from inside first.”
And then I saw a huge door in front of me, closed. There were great walls surrounding it. The petals were reaching the door and dying, becoming brown and gray.
“Sometimes the door will be closed and the walls will be high.” it said.
“But isn’t love supposed to overcome everything?” I asked.
“Yes, but look at all these other doors, open and ready to receive your love.”
And then I turned to the other side, only to find my petals entering many other archways. There was nothing stopping them.
“You can’t just give love. You have to remind people that love has to come from inside. But just like them, you must learn to love yourself first.”
After that, I felt like moving forward, going with the flow of the pink petal river all the way. Sometimes I fell over the darkness that surrounded me, but they always came and held me tight, and I flew all those times.
Some other things were showed to me, mostly some personal questions I had about my purpose here. In the end I opened my eyes and found myself starring at the stone fire pit in the middle of the cabin. The flames were much smaller than before, and the birds were singing outside. I just couldn’t stop smiling.
Everything was much easier than ever.
I learned that love can protect and guide you during the worse moments in your life. You just have to trust in it. Sometimes fear may disguise itself as love, but once you figure it out, you’ll notice that they are much different things in essence.
Love is easy. It’s pure, and it comes from inside first. That’s where you must start. Dive deep inside yourself, start to love those dark parts you keep in secret from everyone else. Embrace who you are, and let your heart guide you through the darkest nights: it will guide you to the light.
Also, I encourage those who want to go through the awakening and bright path of Ayahuasca. Everything seems much clearer after this experience, and life is certainly much lighter.
I’m already planning to go there more times, as I know that there is still much to learn from it.
This is the second part of out of three from my experiences travelling in 2017. I’ll be publishing one more piece very soon, so watch out! I’m sorry for my grammar, English is not my first language, so if you notice any mistakes, please feel free to let me know.
Also, if you have any (private) thoughts and questions over the Ayahuasca cerimony, contact me on my email: vgfalquer@gmail.com.
