What a broken heart can teach you

You don’t have to learn it the hard way

Did you get your heart broken too?

Maybe it was a year or a few months ago, maybe it was yesterday, or it has been just a few hours. If you are in that place where nothing seems to get better in your life, or you still miss them way too much, and start to think about losing hope: don’t give up.

Things will get better

After struggling on my own, I (finally) realized that it all comes down to changing your mindset and how you perceive things. Maybe I can help you a little bit by telling the things I’ve learned, and hope that you will learn it in an easier way:

1. A broken heart at first will teach you that you can take a lot of pain. You might lose your will to get up in the morning, you might lose it and cry in your company’s bathroom, and that’s ok. Just remember that the pain is not the end of the road. Dive deep, and perceive that if you do, you can take it with a smile. At least you lived something beautiful.
2. The pain gets bearable: it might still be there, it might bother you, but that’s the worse it can get by now. Realize that it was YOU who got over the pain, you are much stronger now than ever.
3. “Maybe I can do things alone…” : you’ll start to notice that spending time with your friends is amazing, but that you are also comfortable with yourself. You don’t need anyone else to make yourself happy. You discover that you can finally learn the meaning of loving people without having strings attached.
4. Learn that people come and go, and that’s ok. Enjoy their stay as long as you can, and carry their memories with love when they leave. This is a good moment to travel alone, or to do small things by yourself. You’ll be amazed with how many (awesome) new people you will meet. You’ll start to smile once again.
5. Eventualy, you’ll find out that you should read every single text that Kris Gage writes. Seriously, she’s the best, and this is my favorite piece. It’s one of the most meaningful and truest things I’ve ever read in my entire life, and her articles helped me through some of the roughest patches.
6. Be in the present. Live the present. Feel your feet touching the floor, feel the wind on your face. Feel the air coming in and out as you breathe. You’ll start to notice many new things that you didn’t even know existed.
7. Nothing happens randomly. The law of cause and effect is a constant in our lives. Things happen for a reason, even if that means it wasn’t because of a higher force. Whatever you did, do now or will do will have consequences. You can’t act in the past, but you can act now so you can have a better future.
8. The most important thing: learn to love yourself. Have compassion for yourself. Don’t be so hard on your mistakes; learn from them, so they won’t be repeated so frequently, and leave them behind. If you start to dwell too much in the past, remember numbers 6 and 7.
9. Forgive. Honestly, this is what lets you move on for real. Forgive yourself, forgive whoever broke your heart. Everything happens for a reason, and maybe there is much more happiness for both of you apart. Maybe you can make the relationship work in a different way, or maybe its better to go on a divergent road. Whichever you choose, make sure it’s what makes you happy.
10. There’s nothing wrong with you if you still have feelings for them. Even if they hurt you a lot. You can think about them with some kind of nostalgia or care, even if you know there’s no chance of getting back together. Don’t beat yourself up, let these feelings flow, be aware of them, learn to see where they come from. Cry if you need to, and then let it go.
11. There’s always a possibility for you to meet someone new. Probably when you’re feeling great about yourself, especially after learning all (or most) of the items above by heart. Life is full of surprises, and we often can’t see what’s just around the corner!
12. Listen to a lot of music. Sad, upbeat, instrumental, even bad music. Listen to whatever makes you feel a little bit better and alive. Music is a wonderful medicine.
13. Find a therapist if you can afford one. It’s usually better for your mental health, and you’ll have a safe space to put your feelings out. Holding them in is not good for you. Seek for help, you don’t have to deal with all of this alone.

I grew a lot after it happened, and I hope that you will grow stronger too. Things will pass, and you will be fine once again when you least expect.

Remember: you are amazing!

If you find any grammar mistakes, or have anything to add, please feel free to write a response :)