Discovery of You
Who would've known that I would be single and on a journey to discover who I am. It's funny because I always had someone else cheering me on to do what I wanted but not myself. It's weird after watching a movie similar to your lifestyle and you can figure out what's going to happen next but when the writer decides to go into another direction, my mind is expanded into thinking I need to take those same steps. If you've ever seen How to be Single, you may know what I'm talking about, but keep reading and hear how to from my pen.
I recently broke up with my boyfriend of 14 months and it's very different living by yourself after living with a partner for some time. I had thought this single life, this time, would be pretty easy with some bumps but I didn't think my bruises would turn into instant blessings. Let's just be clear. God is amazing and from my break up, I've been able to focus on God a lot more and not feel ashamed about my spiritual relationship, anymore. With my focus on God and learning more about Him just as you would in a new relationship, I've run into a little pit where I'm wondering, "Where are we going from here?" But, if I could hold you there, I have an idea of the direction and I'm happy to say I'm going to get all the blessings God has stored away just for me. In one's single life, people think you're supposed to be free to hook up with whoever, pull away when you want, find what you want and choose if you want to risk your heart again.
In my new single life, I know what I want. In the meantime, I'm going to do what I want...as in turn my dreams into reality, focus solely on God, and enjoy my single life alone (without random people taking a look into my life). Think of this as the movie, the main character breaks up with her boyfriend. Then, she relocates to a new place and hooks up with random people to fill a void while still trying to figure out what she truly wants. For me, I'm going to take the random people out of the equation and accomplish all that I intend to with pure joy. That's the beauty of being single, finding yourself while trying new things in life.
God has blessed me with another day to see, morning after morning and I am forever thankful. His perfect grace is beyond my thoughts of what it should be. So, let's go back: some singles tend to fill voids with tangible things in human form or some type of material. I don't always get it right, but I've seen firsthand that my voids can only be filled by God, Himself. At the end the day, I may think I know what I need, but my Creator knows exactly what is needed. In this single season, I've been the happiest I can ever remember myself being. Why now? The timing of understanding me as a whole is now. I have experienced a lot in relationships...being in a relationship, breaking up, then to "heal", getting into another relationship. This is the first time in a while that I have been able to take my time to heal and discover who I truly am. Essentially, this is what took place with the main character in How to be Single. She was able to discover herself and her heart's desires through the distractions, so-called "healing" and busy work.
So my piece of advice, whatever season you may be in...ask God to reveal your heart's desire so you can do the work to discover, you. I promise you will discover so much and please, be patient with yourself and the process. Masterpieces take time.