Lets be brave and talk about depression for a minute
This post is very personal. I am not a mental health expert. I am an employer, a friend and a supporter. As I stress below if you are concerned about yourself, a colleague, a friend, a family member — please seek professional help.
I am writing this to remind us all it is important to talk about mental health — at home, at work, with friends, family and colleagues — yet culturally we find this one of those “hard to discuss” subjects.
Next week is Mental Health Awareness Week (https://www.mhaw.nz). As an employer crossing the line into the personal lives of our staff can be quite fraught so engaging as part of MHAW provides a pathway to begin a dialogue or support the programmes and messaging you already have in place.
To my story. Quite unexpectedly I found myself the primary supporter of a person suffering from depression, who attempted suicide and put plans in place to attempt suicide on other occasions. It was daunting and overwhelming to realise as a capable human being I had no skills, no training and no experience to leverage during this time. Nothing went to plan, nothing is predictable. Depression isn’t logical.
I cannot stress enough how important it was to have a fully engaged mental health system treating the person with depression and supporting their wider network.
Looking to make sense of this foreign situation and trying to share the support function I pushed the boundaries with others in my persons life — I wanted to talk about what was happening! People listened at first but many wained, they didn’t want to hear it was still going on, the medication wasn’t working, another suicide attempt was planned. Whether cultural or conditioning, for many of us it’s easier to engage briefly in this conversation then return to our “normal” lives. I know I burned bridges but don’t regret that — keeping my person alive and in treatment was all that mattered in the end.
Our mental heath services in New Zealand are both wonderful and stretched. While we experienced long waiting times and often limited followup care — including hanging up from calling the CAT team and reverting to 111 — when needed in moments of crisis Police, Ambulance and Hospital resources responded immediately and for them I am both grateful and in awe.
New Zealand has unenviable rates of suicide. We need to change this. We need a national conversation on why? why young people and men both Maori and Pakeha find themselves in this position? We need localised conversations too, so with Metal Health Awareness week here in New Zealand it’s time to move the conversation beyond those few who are brave enough to dare speak up.
Mental health conditions including depression can be very difficult to detect and diagnose, they can be very minor or quite severe. If you are struggling — be brave and talk to someone. If you suspect someone in your life is struggling — be brave and ask them if they need help.
If you are concerned about yourself, a colleague, family member or friend, or someone asks you for help engage professional support immediately, don’t try to “fix” this yourself, you aren’t qualified and this is not the time for kiwi DIY.
Important Contact Details:
www.mentalhealth.org.nz/get-help/in-crisis/
- Reading from Depression.org.nz:
- Understanding the signs: depression.org.nz/is-it-depression-anxiety/
- Helping people close to you: depression.org.nz/help-someone/
My person is thriving now, has purpose in life and a fantastic support network. We hug whenever we’re in the same city and occasionally cry but we know how far the journey has been and how many fabulous people have been involved, even for a minute.
Be brave. Vic
This post first appeared on LinkedIN
Victoria is passionate about many things — growing great companies, raising digital literacy, growing New Zealands economy and equality for women. Her day jobs include Managing Director of data and information specialists OptimalBI, investor in start ups and numerous mentoring, advisory and board appointments. Victoria’s community contributions include co-Chair of NZRise, Chair of the Digital Skills Forum, and Chair of Code Club Aotearoa.