I am a Woman. You are a Trans Woman. And That Distinction Matters.

@LivLife&Wolves I’m going to be honest and tell you that I found your post difficult to read. Now, don’t get me wrong, I don’t consider it trans-phobic, but I do want to point out a few things. One of your statements really struck me, you said. “ I have a right to not be forced to see a penis in a changing room, just because you see it as a vagina,” now, I have to say that i seriously doubt that you will find a a transgender person anywhere that thinks their genitals are anything other than what they are. You see, that’s the problem we were never men or women to begin with, we see our genitals as going against everything that we know our bodies should be. As for forcing you to see my genitals in the changing room? I don’t know the gyms you go to, but I don’t ever remember any dressing room where they were intentionally on display. To take that one step further, I don’t belong to a health club just for that reason, I am so self-conscious and frightened to the core of my being as to the reaction of the other women to me, that I don’t belong to one.

I agree that as a cis-gendered woman ( I hate that term, by the way), you have experienced life very differently than I have. I will never carry a child, I know that. I did not live my life in fear of being raped. There where no catcalls, no uncomfortable looks, none of the dangers you discussed. Instead, I was ostracized for being different. I spent my life not fitting in to my perceived gender. I was bullied from the age of eight. I was never man enough for my father, nor did I fit in to the masculine ideal. I was ostracized from the masculine brotherhood, I didn’t fit in with the gay men, and women shunned me. I walk out of my door every day in fear for my life because I am trans, and you know what, this is still a better life that I ever had as a man hiding from the truth.

You wrote your blog singling our trans people for issues that need to be laid firmly at the toxic masculinity that exists in our society today. Yes, I had a different upbringing than you did, but I’m willing to bet that there are millions of women out that that have as well.

Your post is the same as saying, “I’m not racist, but…”

Show your support

Clapping shows how much you appreciated Victoria Addams’s story.