Do all new writers feel this way?
When your taste still outperforms your writing skills
The closer I get to finishing my first novel, the more I’m convinced that it’s not going to be any good.
Do all new writers feel this way? Probably. (The selfish part of me hopes so.)
One one hand, I’m really proud of myself for coming so far. It took a while to find what works for me, but I’ve finally hit on a combination of strategies that keep me focused and motivated. I’m making consistent progress every day. At 40,000 words, my novel-in-progress is the longest thing I’ve ever written, and that includes my master thesis.
Something to be proud of right there — I’ve written all these pages without any sort of deadline and without anyone requiring it of me. Maybe not that big of a deal for some people, but a real achievement for me. Well done, Victoria!
SO there’s that proud feeling about my progress. And then the other half of my mind is a buzzing swarm of doubts. Will my novel be complex enough? Are the characters just types? Does it seem too amateur? Am I really qualified to be writing a YA novel? Does it fit the genre?
One of my biggest fears is that, even after all this work, the only thing I’ll have to show at the end will be a practice novel. You know. Something that you send to your mum, maybe a couple of aunts, and then bury in a nested folder on your hard-drive.
Of course, there’s nothing really wrong with writing a practice novel. Many people write them. I would be far from the first to look critically at my work and admit that I’m not yet at the publishing stage.
But I’m also impatient! I want to publish now! This month! Yes, yes I know I could publish anything I want on Amazon, but I also want it to be good. How many practice novels will I have to write before I start getting to the good stuff?
I read an interesting article recently. It was about how writers usually have great taste and can easily tell good writing from bad. I mean, most of us are avid readers, and we’ve been exposed to some really high-quality literature in our lives. But when you’re starting out (unless you’re a literary genius, that is) you probably lack the skills to express your ideas as finely as you want to. That’s why, everything that a new writer produces seems bad and cringe-worthy to them when they look at it critically.
I can so totally relate.
I tried to find the article again so I could share the link. Sadly it’s one of those times when I can’t remember exactly what I searched for. Anyway, the point is that I found it reassuring. At least I can claim to have good taste, even if my writing still sucks. Want to know how I’m sure that I have good taste? Because I think my writing sucks.
Hopefully not forever though. That’s one promise that I’m making to myself. The answer to my earlier question is “As many practice novels as it takes.”
