Dear Guy Who Just Made My Burrito:
Jack Dire

I think the sister of the guy who made your burrito made my sandwich. Seriously… dry meat against dry bread, then cheese, then a blob of mayo, then lettuce and more dry bread.

I asked her, “when you make yourself a sandwich at home, you don’t make it like that, do you? You spread the mayonnaise directly on the bread, right?”

Her response… “I don’t eat mayonnaise.”

Ack! Mustard… whatever…. the condiment!

I truly wanted to punch her, right in her non-mayo-eating mouth.

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