Undiagnosed ADHD
One score and fourteen
Years undiagnosed.
My ADHD, unseen.
But trust me – it shows.
Into pillow, I screamed
As a teen.
Everyone knows
The right way
But me.
So aware
From barely
Hidden glares
Of the social
Consequences
Of acting
‘Like me’.
But to also know
It’s happening unfairly.
So, a mask and isolation
Are my defences.
Then, at university
Self medicating
Became ingrained
Tendency.
Mary Jane,
Alcohol and codependency;
To defer my pain.
Somehow
A hyper focus
Earns me a crisp suit.
So work
becomes the locus
Of my brain’s dispute
Between
High and low
And my true self
Demeaned.
Then, a higher
Power within
Salvages me from fire
Another crash.
‘Never again’, I vow
Will I tailspin.
My own life’s agency
Has to be now.
The doctor, remarkably,
Tuned in
And medicated.
A state
I’ve bloomed in!
Actually writing
Albeit, belated.
All because
Of the medic’s empathy
In respect of
My mind’s circuitry.
05.06.2023