Undiagnosed ADHD

One score and fourteen

Years undiagnosed.

My ADHD, unseen.

But trust me – it shows.

Into pillow, I screamed

As a teen.

Everyone knows

The right way

But me.

So aware

From barely

Hidden glares

Of the social

Consequences

Of acting

‘Like me’.

But to also know

It’s happening unfairly.

So, a mask and isolation

Are my defences.

Then, at university

Self medicating

Became ingrained

Tendency.

Mary Jane,

Alcohol and codependency;

To defer my pain.

Somehow

A hyper focus

Earns me a crisp suit.

So work

becomes the locus

Of my brain’s dispute

Between

High and low

And my true self

Demeaned.

Then, a higher

Power within

Salvages me from fire

Another crash.

‘Never again’, I vow

Will I tailspin.

My own life’s agency

Has to be now.

The doctor, remarkably,

Tuned in

And medicated.

A state

I’ve bloomed in!

Actually writing

Albeit, belated.

All because

Of the medic’s empathy

In respect of

My mind’s circuitry.

05.06.2023