Purity: Freedom from sin or guilt; innocence; chastity.

Not too long ago, I learned about the “purity ball”; a grandiose ceremony in which a daughter pledges her virginity to her father until marriage. Many girls in America attend these ceremonies as young as the age of 5. They sign a certificate pledging their virginity — and even at times, their first kiss — until their wedding day.

Let me make something clear.

I don’t have anything against those who choose to save their first sexual encounter until their wedding day. I don’t even have anything against those who choose to keep their first kiss until their wedding day. Intimacy should be saved until one is comfortable and safe. And if that time is on their wedding day, then power to them!

But there is a much deeper issue with the purity ball. It is based off of an arcane, twisted, and disturbing concept:

Women, at one time or another in their lives, will question their beauty. And if they do not have the patriarchal figure of their father to confirm that they are beautiful, then they will find that confirmation outside of the house in a sexually immoral relationship with another male.

Let that sink in for a couple of minutes.

I can’t feel beautiful unless my dad tells me so? And if I have such huge self esteem issues, him saying “Princess, you’re pretty” will suddenly fix all of that?

I call bullshit.

Women and girls alike should be able to find beauty within themselves. They do not need their fathers telling them they are beautiful in order to feel beautiful. They do not need to think “daddy is my boyfriend” in order to find self esteem and confidence about themselves.

Stop. Think.

Things aren't as simple as they seem to be. This is not just an issue about sexual immorality. It is an issue about women needing an outside force to confirm their beauty.

Speak up. Talk about it.

It’s a hard conversation, but one that we definitely need to start. We need to start questioning the traditions we hold dear to our hearts. We need to start questioning how these institutions stand in our society, and what they mean and what they impose.

Till next time,

Victoria