The Victim

Wonder Woman in Despair (Wonder Woman: The New 52, Chapter 39). Photo from readcomics.net. Art and story by DC Comics.

Most of us, if not all, suffered from low self-esteem once in our lives. I’ve struggled with it for a long time, even until now. That voice inside your head saying, “you’ll never be good enough”, or “you’re stupid” — we’ve all heard it. However, in my case, it doesn’t say “you” or “you’re”. It says “I”.

I have this strong belief that I’m not able to amount to anything. After all, I have no talents, and I am a slow learner. That reality hindered me from doing as fast and effective as the others, but I quickly assumed that it also meant my lack of potential.

Whenever I failed at something, which was often, I’d hear: “I’m really not much…I’m truly incompetent.” Keyword: I’m. “That voice”, the thief of self-esteem, played the victim. It introduces itself as you. It will make you think that it is your own voice, but it is not. It is an impostor made to keep you from growing.

So, if ever you’re going through the same thing, here are some tips which helped me:

  1. Write down what you hear.

The more that you can write, the better. After that, put a to: (insert friend’s name). This will make you realize how unjustly cruel you are to yourself.

2. The Acorn Principle.

It’s a book by Jim Cathcart, which I recommend. Basically, it offers you a brand new point of view. If you view yourself as a seed, you know that you can grow by nurturing yourself. You must know who you are first, and where you are most suited to, to know how you can grow, and in which environments you can reach your full potential.

3. Adopt.

Do you have someone you highly respect? Good. Do you have someone you look up to? Better. Observe how they deal with things, and their positive behaviors that you can adopt into your own lifestyle.

4. In case of emergency, breathe and be void of emotion.

Image by Jacob Sutton, a London-based fashion photographer.

“That voice” is powerful. There will be times where you will be completely helpless, drowning in an ocean of negative feelings. The only way you can swim back to the shore and be resilient, is to breathe. Breathe deeply, in the most comfortable way you can. After you’ve calmed down, try to ignore the emotions as much as possible.

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