5 Reasons Why I Hate Lists

1. A sobering reminder of the deterioration of writing as an art

Lists take no skill. Don’t pride yourself on publishing one because a five-year old can do the same thing.

2. No one even reads the description.

The best lists are the ones with nice pictures because then, you don’t have to put in the effort to read the list. Pictures paint a thousand words, which means they describe exactly what the writer wants to say anyway.

3. The middle usually contains useless garbage that no one really cares about

I’m hoping that you’ll gloss over this part because the heading is very self-explanatory. But since you made the extra effort to read this far, I’ll entertain you with the following statement: Sperm wales ironically do not have any sperm. That’s actually not true but congratulations on making it this far. I do not know why you’re still reading — hats off to you for disproving the point that this point is trying to make.

4. There is a 95% chance that you will find recycled content.

Don’t you love it when you find trash in your recycling?

5. Intense dissatisfaction

You just wasted about two minutes of your life that could’ve been better spent dealing with your own set of issues. Yet you chose to avoid doing that by reading about something so pointless and irrelevant to your life. Which is very sad — almost as sad as this article’s existence.