Vidiassa Adiz
Sep 5, 2018 · 2 min read

Happy birthday to me!

Exactly two years ago, I annoyed my closest college friends. At this hour they were all ready to surprise me. But I wasn’t ready to accept that, I’m having my first birthday with a whole new people who actually care about me. I wasn’t ready to accept that kind and that much of love.

If any of you read this, I truly am sorry…. It’s funny tho😂.

But I’m sorry. I didn’t come out that night to accept the surprise and I made them wait for an hour or more until they finally gave up and headed home. I WAS SUCH A TERRIBLE FRIEND.

That morning, they all look at me with a cynical look. They were all upset because of me. They learned the hard way that I’m sooo not a birthday person😂.

Again I’m really sorry. I wasn’t really sure how to communicate and react in that kind of situation, I should’ve been grateful to you guys’ good intention. I was and am grateful to have you, I just really really had no clue on how to deal with that situation.

I’m still dealing with this guilty feeling since then…

But today, is the first day since forever that I’m wishing myself a happy birthday. That’s because I really want something that I keep dreaming of this past few months. I don’t know why, because the two birthdays before I just went through it just like another usual day. But in this birthday, I really want that something.

I can’t hope much because I know that’s not gonna happen, but I’m just gonna keep hoping anyway, until I know why.

    Vidiassa Adiz

    Written by

    Reader of my own thoughts.

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