Bridging the Social Distance
How self-isolation and social distancing may have in fact have brought us closer.
It has been 72 days since Singapore entered its circuit breaker and subsequently Phase 1 of the three-phased re-opening of Singapore — which is essentially what is termed to be a lockdown in many other countries.
It has been 72 days since we had to limit their activity out of their homes, only stepping out for ‘essential’ reasons — and definitely no social interaction with members out of your household. The only human contact we have access to is of those who live with us (I truly feel for those living alone).
It has been 72 days — and in this time, what I’ve come to realise is that an unanticipated side effect of goverment-mandated self-isolation is that it can bring you closer to the people in your life. In navigating the uncertainty of what these times bring and what it means for our lives, livelihoods, plans, aspirations and relationships, we tend to be drawn within to those who are dear to us. This may take the form of (a) a parent who you don’t live with anymore who conscientiously checks in on you with countless ‘how are you’s in a day, (b) your inner circle of friends that prefer to video call you (at truly odd times of the day) to see your face than to reply your message, (c ) a good long-distance friend across the globe who you think about from time to time but only manage to schedule proper catchups with on special commemorative occasions (due to scheduling, time difference, and basically life gets in the way) who you now seem to draw closer in conversations with, or (d) a childhood school friend who you’ve recently re-connected with, and would otherwise meet during that occasional school reunion gathering.
And it is these “How are you’s” and checking up on one another on what it’s like to live in self-isolation, that spirals into life updates on catch-ups on family, work, relationships, heartbreaks, aspirations, challenges navigating through adulthood, coping with this oddly shared experience of stress, anxiety and uncertainty— amongst other vulnerabilities that we as humans are made to share with and connect with one another, but rather conceal and get by the rhythms and motions of daily lives. Essentially, we re-discover and strengthen these relationships to reflect who we are currently at this moment, rather than the impression of the person we used to know or the shared memories we hold on to.
In the past 72 days alone, I have easily celebrated at least ten Zoom birthdays with various groups of people who are dear to me — family, friends and even an ex-teacher. If it weren’t for the lockdown, to say that I would have only made it physically for half of the birthdays would have been a stretch. I have also had countless regular games nights and social virtual catch-up sessions with various groups of friends — some of whom I’ve not met in years, and others who I only meet during occasions/by chance a handful of times a year. I do my 3x weekly home workout with a dear friend some 11,000km away, with whom I last exercised some 5 years ago when we were neighbours in hall. If it weren’t for this global self-isolation that somehow forced the reset button in our lives to re-calibrate and focus on what is the core of our emotional, mental and psychological needs, this time to exist, to care for, to connect and to be available for the very people who brings life to our lives, we likely would not be stepping out of the other side of this lockdown with this renewed perspective on what truly matters.
Even within this physical space of a flat that I call home and spend my days of self-isolation in, I learn more of the daily routines of my family, things I would have otherwise not known. I see how assertive my little sister, who used to grow up in my shadow for the formative years of our lives, can be. I see the dedication my mum puts into her work to prepare lessons for the students she teach (especially during the home-based learning period). I see how fast my little nephews have grown, how fast they learn and pick up things, their little antics and how much love and affection they carry in their tiny little hearts.
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When the news of Phase 2 was officially announced, and as much as I expected it, I first felt surrealism, followed by a mix of relief and apprehension. It seemed somewhat odd, that while this has been what we have bracing ourselves for since 72 days ago, what do we do now that theres some semblance of getting our lives, our routines and our freedom back? Do the norms that we are now used to, the weekly games nights, the international zoom calls on Saturday evenings, come to an end? How do we make sense of these closeness that we have bridged with the key relationships in our life despite the social distance?
At the core of our beings, we as humans, are made to socialise, and thrive in connections and love. It is a fact that between now and until a vaccine is found and made available, there will be different stages/versions of ‘new normal’s that we would have to be agile and continually adapt to — at least until we get back our lives as we used to know it some months ago. Even though we may not know how exactly now or what might come our way, I am sure with the experience we have collectively shared over the past 72 days, we will figure out a way to get out of life’s standstill as we know it now and continue on our respective journeys, while still holding on to and nourishing the relationships with the people who make life truly worth living.
