Dreams ,Desires , Wants , Goals , Targets …. Elusive ??

“What do you want to be in life ?”

Isn’t it the most often asked question ? Today’s world has given us a plethora of options to provide an answer to this rather tricky question . I was always in awe of those fortunate souls who know what they want or desire from life. So, the answer to the question above is that, I wanted to become such a person.

When I observed my life from a third person’s view it seemed rather cozy. A settled job , excellent education , financially strong , smart , decent looking and such parameters which determine your “happiness” or “status” in society. Though many times I felt that my mind is running on beta software because it had so many bugs and somehow I functioned on the basest of my emotions. Never guided by conscious thought.This niggled me so much that i came in to the dreaded “quarter life crisis stage” . An oft introspection made me question “ What do I want to achieve that will make me happy from inside ?”

Imagine messing up a compass’s orientation by keeping a stronger magnet near it .With people struggling in poverty, survival becomes their sole purpose in life and the odds are stacked against them , so they seldom get the luxury to introspect. In “middle classes” and upwards, we have it comparatively better in terms of access to resources. But still in a similar way, the standards of success and greatness set by society tend to keep one bogged in the consumer/follower/sheep/fear of failure mindset . Here the temptations of the first level of Maslow’s pyramid overpower us albeit under a more refined and sophisticated guise. The real knowledge of oneself is so buried by these physiological impulses and materialistic status symbols that the tendency to rise to higher levels is subdued.

So the natural course of action was as follows

What do I want vs. What can be had — Different avenues like Arts , Science , Politics, Humanities , Commerce , Academia , Spirituality and much more

Now where I should go would be determined by many factors like

• What are my tastes ?
• What sort of person am I ?
• What effect did the society have on my consciousness?
• Which subjects appeal the most to me?
• What do I like or find tolerable ?
• What do I utterly dislike?
• What are my strengths , weaknesses , capabilities and limitations?
• Am I willing to upgrade myself to receive more?
• How do I prioritise and organise myself ?
• What is my favoured style of work?
• What are my expectations from myself (Vision) and society?

The solutions to these questions are neither evident, rigid, standard, nor easily found. Everyone has to undergo a personal struggle and go through many iterations to find the solutions. The odds that some one still dreams big and takes actions are really one in a million. They become successful or great in their own way.

This brought me to question the parameters on which this greatness measured and what is actually being great ? I realised that without defining one’s personal yardstick of greatness, it becomes easy to be derailed by the daily grind. Without having a strong internal compass or going through intense reflection , or the absence of some external motivating factor ,can really affect one’s ability to dream big and muster the courage to act on it.

And therein lies the conundrum. “What is my definition of Success i.e. Scale of achievement ?”

• Self discovery
• Actualization of dreams
• Contribution to humanity
• Love and respect from family and friends
• Money
• Happy family life

“The deeper in the ocean of the mind do you dive, the better your chances of uncovering some pearls of wisdom. Remember that a pearl has no value until uncovered from its shell.”

By defining the most important factor and atleast satisfying that , enables a semblance of satisfaction of a life well lived. It gives the energy and sustains the drive to achieve the other parameters. This , i think ,definitely enables success on the most important ie. the Personal level.

Rudderless ships rarely reach anywhere

Floating , lost in the vast expanses

of the ocean of humanity

Mere mortal am I, but a mere boy

Blown where the wind had taken

Washed ashore with the tide

Prisoner encircled in

the conflict of heart and mind

Everything distracts

from the task at hand

Relief or release

Impeding the mind

And succumbing as always

Temptation makes me grieve

shallow or deep the desire

To forget and Forgive

Caprice is inherent

Defeat seems so apparent

Blinded my narrow sight

Bound in my own plight

Infinite is my mind

Likes to wander far and wide

Yet it so is prejudiced

Marred of its own might

Without focus nowhere will it go

With efforts it will come

Focus, where will it run

Immeasurable toil is want

Inhibitions to be shed

Cords to be cut, Umbilical they are

So cozy is the womb its wrapped

But a chain it is ,tying , stifling

Inside this cocoon is a prison

In warm comfort it buries

All pride and ambition

To over come this seems unfathomable

To rise to my calling

to answer to it, to give it justice

They say some are Achievers

Some are Dreamers

Each with a burden of own

So I’d say just, Let them be