Straight Men Suck: A Hymn In Praise Of Toxic Masculinity

Straight Men Suck (In Both Senses of the Word) A Hymn In Praise of Toxic Masculinity

Straight Men Suck

Straight men suck In both senses of the word. A woman said that to me. I hate straight men. I hate it that its because of you that I’m afraid to walk down the street hand in hand with a male partner. I hate it because you turkey heads have to make us queer men into the great Satan because you can’t handle your own homosexual impulses. (Which don’t exist. Won’t exist. Never existed. Can’t exist.) And what the fuck is it I’ve done to earn your fear and contempt? That I want to suck your dick? That I want you to fuck me? That I might ask you for those things? Hello: we’re not in prison so you wouldn’t have to. Unless you were sick and tired of wondering that is.

And what kills me is that you will if I don’t act like I take you seriously. But just listen to yourselves: Orgasm. Pleasure. This is what you guys fear? Enough to beat a man bloody for offering it? To leave him hanging on barbed wire? To put us to death in concentration camps and burnings? To set police after us. All stuff you straight men have done to us queers throughout history. Because we wanted to make you cum. This is why we sick evil faggots look at you guys and laugh with each other. No matter how much you scare the living shit out of us. You straight dingleberries could kick me to death on the sidewalk and I’d still be laughing right through my broken teeth..

No. Its not rape you’re afraid of. Unless in prison. And the fact that rape in prison is used as a management tool in America is something you straight men set up to keep each other in line. And that’s something else I fucking hate you assholes for, is turning something I’ve experienced with love and pleasure into an instrument of torture in your prisons. And then you send us queers there for the crime of being queer. Sodomy laws. Police entrapment. Equating us with pedophiles. As if most of the pedophiles and abusers out there weren’t straight men. Unless you’re thinking of us as pedophiles because we might want to have sex with you…

And don’t tell me about AIDS. You chest beating pieces of monkey dung were behaving this way centuries before AIDS. If you numnutted nimrods had gone through the trouble of actually finding anything out about AIDS you’d know that with some discipline and impulse control the chances of contracting HIV can be brought so low that you’re in more danger driving your pick up truck. Sober.

We queers have traded our homosexual panic for something that makes you dorks look like a pack of sports talking shoulder punching eleven year old boys. The only thing you dickless wonders have for each other that is any near as intense as the sex we queers get to have is war. Bonds of brotherhood forged in combat? Fuck you. All you guys are telling the rest of us is that you can’t feel as close to another man as you possibly can unless you’re both trying to kill somebody else. And you think I’m sick because I’d rather get fucked up the ass than murder people? You need your armies you fuckheads, or the rest of us would not even bother to act like we took you seriously. And that also includes your mother, your sister, and the woman you married you sperm donating dimwitted dildo.

The only people whose respect I ever lost by being bisexual turned out to be the kind of people whose respect I wouldn’t have wanted in the first place. A good Christian is someone who would rather see men shoot each other with rifles rather than pleasure each other with their cocks? Do I even have to point out to you how fucked up it is to be less angry at murder than orgasm? I’d feel alarmed if I did have the respect of people like that.

Straight men are the reason I don’t even like the word man. What a two dimensional figure. He has no emotions aside from possibly humor at the expense of others, and love for a female sex partner who is never even considered as an equal. His rifle is much more important than his gun. Who made motion picture standards where seeing men shoot each other with rifles G rated but seeing men shooting their guns X rated. Who was indoctrinated by his society to be the good raw material for an army before anything else.

I make you uncomfortable? Well how about this you booger eating mouth breathing douchebag: Every single one of you I’ve ever met is in a constant state of homosexual panic. Whether you know it or not. Oh joy. Gotta get me some of that. Excuse me while I get a paper towel to wipe my pussy dry.

Straight men. Who discovered the clitoris in the 1940s. Who else would be so fucking stupid to believe that they have to give up fucking women in order to fuck men. That’s another thing women have figured out that you guys don’t have a cock sucking clue about. One dick up the ass and now you’re a total fag forever and ever? Sigh. Mistaking cocks for firearms. Again.

Straight men. Whose God sends us queers to hell for making other men cum but awards them places of glory in heaven for slaughtering the men women and children who are not of his nation.

I mean gimme a break A guy who won’t play with any other prick than his own? How fucking stupid is that. I mean, at least with lesbians there’s the extenuating circumstance that they don’t have cocks. They could reasonably be expected to be able to overlook what wonderful things they are. But a straight man has no such excuse. He’s got the clue. He just won’t look it in the eye.

Straight men. Just because you can’t — for whatever reason — imagine having a dick in you as anything other than horrible and degrading, you despise us queers. And to any woman reading this, if you want to know what your man really thinks about women, ask him what he thinks of gay men who get fucked by other men and suck other men. The more hostile your man is to men who take the female role, the more averse he is to women. It has to do with the straight male equation of penetrating and powerful versus penetrated and powerless.( In case you were wondering, I don’t like it much either.)

And, of course, the more hostile you straight men are to us queers, the greater your homosexual panic is. Something else I fucking hate you assholes for, is fucking with my queer brothers until they think they have to be you. They call themselves straight but they bash their brothers. They hate you for what you did to them but feel powerless so they take it out on the men they could have loved if only you dorkbreaths could have left them alone.

Straight men. People who pride themselves on their lack of feelings. Who usually don’t like eating pussy. Who think there’s something ennobling about sitting watching other men play sports. Who fuck and get fucked by us queer guys when their buddies aren’t around. Who call each other women when they really really want to insult each other.

Straight men. Who I would be just fine with if they’d leave me alone, just leave me the fuck alone. But they can’t. I don’t understand it. Its like if there’s even one of us queers out there, even one, they can’t be safe. Two men holding hands in the street is so scary? That’s something you don’t want your kids to see? Well what about making your kid see what an asshole you are being about two grownups walking down the street holding hands? Its not your kids you’re scared for. You’re scared of being treated the same way you brag to your buddies about treating women. Fuck you. Fuck you. But not with my dick. You wish. Asshole.