Here’s the quick summary of what I’m going to say below: Don’t walk out on a date over something that he/she says without clarifying that you understand the intended message.
Because this sentence is translated to “I don’t think you are tall/rich/hung/etc, but i’ve decided to make an exception so you should feel proud that I did that, I’m so generous and nice for doing this”.
The thing is, that’s how you are interpreting her statement that she usually dates guys who are different from you in what ever way she mentions. I would bet, from experience mind you, that if you talk to her instead of just walking out that what her statement really means is more along the line of “I usually go for guys that are different from you but you are just so awesome/groovy/sexy/cool/wonderful/etc. that I am really happy being with you”. Unless, of course, her statement is followed by “and that’s why I don’t want to keep seeing you”.
Communication tends to work best when we strive to be certain that we understand people’s intent instead of assuming that because we feel insulted or hurt the message was intended as an insult or to hurt us. Part of being an adult and communicating effectively is not assuming that we know exactly what a person’s unspoken intent is behind their actions and words. If you feel bad after someone says something to you it is often wise to ask for clarification. Our feelings are based on our interpretations of events, making them only as reliable as the information upon which we are interpreting those events. People communicate poorly. We try to be subtle, we don’t always understand how someone else is going to interpret our message, we don’t always understand how someone else intended their message, and we tend to assume people understand exactly what we mean even when we don’t spell it out clearly.
Every sitcom and rom-com writer in the world sees and understands these communication failures. The audience even recognizes these communication failures and the problems they cause when we view movies and TV shows. Unfortunately, we don’t translate that recognition into our own lives because we are too invested in the feelings we are experiencing to think clearly. So do yourself a favor and don’t jump to conclusions about what someone else meant based on your feelings. Our feelings are not always a good indicator of the other person’s intention and you could wind up missing out on a really great person.
