My Journey From Introvert Symbol To Being An Extrovert
When I’m performing I’m an extrovert, yet inside I’m a completely different man. -Freddie Mercury.
Some backstory here. I was born into a family which struggled financially. Studying in a school with rich kids. No relatives. I grew up in a run down apartment with immigrants who can’t speak English or the National Language (Malay). I had some friends but they were like me too. I guess birds of a feather do flock together.
I grew up not knowing how to socialize. Mostly I just sat quietly listening to others. I did not even realize it was odd. No one ever told me that it’s just weird for a dude to be sitting quietly listening to others. Honestly, it felt very comforting just keeping to myself.
After my high school days, I decided I will turn my life around in university. It is during this time, I learnt most of my lessons for socializing and being an extrovert. And I wish to share it with you dear readers. Mainly because I wish people told me sooner about how to be an extrovert.
Do note: I don’t think being an introvert is bad. You do you. As long you are happy. Don’t bother about what others think. However if you feel it is holding you back, then this article is for you.
It’s all about energy
Build your social stamina gradually. Pick your battles. Maybe go for one social event a week. Pace your self.
Exercise. Most of us feel tired and fatigue because we don’t exercise. We humans are fundamentally animals. We need to be active.
I know it is easier said than done. Start small. Do a 30 minutes jog or 30 minutes HIIT.
That should be good enough to flood your body with endorphins. It will make you feel refreshed and active. When you are active, you can engage people better.
Meditate. It will reduce or perhaps completely remove that nervous energy in your system. You will feel like you are floating in the rain forest.
If you are fidgeting, you come off as nervous. And that nervousness starts snow balling when you start thinking of how others perceive you.
Another trick is to visualize yourself as someone energetic. One of my trick is to pick a fictional character whose energy I love. I then try to work towards it.
I say work towards it because I disagree with the fake it till you make it idea. I strongly believe people can only show what they feel inside. So work towards making yourself feel better.
Make time to recharge. Schedule you social events. Don’t accept every social invitation else you will be drained. Remember baby steps.
It’s Party Time
The biggest issue for introverts is being in a party situation. The first step I would recommend is be proactive. Think of you engagement plan.
Prepare some topics before you go to the party. From my observation, guys always usually talk about politics, cars, or sports. So just read up a bit on these things. You don’t have to pretend to like them but knowing a little will definitely help you feel more at home.
Think of an escape plan. Tell yourself “It is just 30 minutes. Then I will get out of here”. When you tell yourself that, you will relax because your escape from “introvert hell” is just minutes away. When you relax, you will have more fun. And who knows you might actually stay much longer than you intended to.
Remember no phones. That is just running away from engaging with people. Remember when you run away from something, you become twice as afraid of it the next time. In addition, it also tells others that you aren’t open to conversing.
No alcohol. Well alcohol is great. So you can have a drink or two. But do not use it as a crutch. It won’t work as a long-term strategy. Not to mention you can’t drink on all occasions. Imagine the panic when you realize your liquid of courage is not there.
Smile. This is such a basic thing which most of us introverts forget to do. You have teeth. Show them. Give eye contact when talking to someone. It will show people that you are actually listening.
Speak out. You matter and what you say matters as well. Share your opinions. Talk about yourself.
Relax. This relates to what I mentioned in the “It’s all about energy” section. The reason you feel so drain is because you are tense and stressed. If you were to relax, it will be like a walk in the park. And anyone can go for a walk in the park anytime.
Watch And Learn Ladies And Gentleman
It is all about exposure. If you are struggling at socializing, odds are you weren’t exposed to it growing up. So what you can do now is get that exposure via an extroverted friend.
Let’s call this friend Jim. Jim is an extroverted individual. Watch Jim’s body language, facial expression, choice of words, and how he handles different situations.
Jim can also function as a social wingman. Odds are Jim has other friends he can introduce you to. See now you have more friends. That’s cool right.
Summary
Coming out of your introvert shell is a challenge. But it is a rewarding one for sure. One of the ways to explore life’s endless possibilities is to meet people.
On a side note, I would highly recommend this article titled “Eye Opening Facts To Becoming Better At Talking To People” written by me. It is a suitable add on to this article.
Do share your thoughts with me in the comment section. And do follow me to get more tips on life, psychology and productivity. Cheers!!!
