The Cavalier Crusade for a War With Iran
War Is Boring
1812

Ugh. I’m so tired of going to war in the f — ing desert.

Seriously.

I wonder why all of these chicken-hawks doomsaying about the inherent evil of Iranians and their nukes have for the most part never served in the military (or if they have, never deployed in combat), don’t have children who would be affected, and most beguiling of all — seem to act as though the Peoples’ Democratic Republic of Actual Bond Villains hasn’t had nukes for a decade already.

I say let the Iranians build a nuke. If they use it on someone, we’ll use more than they have on them. No liberation. No toppling of the mullahs. Just good, ol’ fashioned unconditional surrender via killing all of the people until they stop fighting and submit to our will. Otherwise, if you want to invade before then, initiate the Selective Service, raise taxes, sell war bonds, start churning out tanks and bombs, and declare war on the internationally-recognized government of Iran before forcing it into unconditional surrender via killing all of the people until they stop fighting and submit to our will.

Otherwise just shut up about the “threat” of Iran.

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