Why do People Fail?
Why do people fail in life? That is the question of a millennium isn’t it. We are so amazed by the few success stories of some extraordinary people that we often do not pay any heed to the failure stories. When was the last time you read about a person who failed in life? I bet that would be a long time, long enough that you probably don’t even remember the person’s name. But the names of successful people just roll off our tongue, be it Elon Musk, The Ambani Family, Jimmi Hendrix, the Beatles or Ratan Tata.
We idolize these people, try to learn from their stories because they achieved what we still desire, Success! But I feel it is important that we understand failure well if we want to achieve success in the future.
So, the first question that needs to be answered is What is Failure? If you google it, you will get the answer “Lack of success” or as Wikipedia says, “Failure is the state or condition of not meeting the desirable or intended objective.” That means simply that whenever a person is not successful, they are a failure. Well, if that is the case, then I have been a failure all my life. Because I have never achieved what I desired, to the mark, in fact not even close. I have always performed way below what everyone and I myself expected me to. So, I guess I have answered the question “Who/What is a failure?” The answer is simply someone like me, who hasn’t yet achieved all they want in life.
Now coming on to the more important questions “Why do we fail in life and how can we avoid it?”
The answer is simple, “Because we choose to.” According to me, failing is an attitude. Who decides when you failed or when you passed? It is you yourself. Not the society, not your parents or relatives, not your friends but you yourself. We get tired of trying. We look for an easy way out, instead of going for the grind.
It is when you decide that you are done, and cannot do anymore that you have failed. The thought of quitting, because you feel you are not good enough is the first step towards failure. It is followed by disappointment, lack of motivation and a big cloud of despair over your head.
You feel depressed and demotivated, not wanting to do anything, just trying to fill the big void in your heart. That is what failure is. It is ugly and it sucks.
But as I said before, failure is an attitude, and it can be changed if one is willing to. As Winston Churchill once said, “Success is not final: Failure is not fatal, it is the courage to continue that counts.”
One simply need to get back on their feet.
You tried your hand at something, things did not work out as you had planned. You did not receive the results you wanted, and now everyone around you branded you as a failure. The society thinks of you as a failure. Well, I say Fuck the Society. Who are they to tell you that you failed? At least you had the courage to try something new. Unlike some, who just watch as bystanders and point fingers. They try to coach from the stands because they themselves cannot enter the field and play.
Of course, other’s advice and reviews are important, but they should not weigh on you enough to change your whole mindset because, in the end, it is your actions which are to be evaluated, not the “advice” some people gave to you. You are responsible for who you are and what you do.
“A man can fail many times, but he isn’t a failure until he starts blaming somebody else”- John Burroughs.
Just accept that you failed at an ‘attempt.’ You tried something that didn’t work, now you want to try it a different way. Try moving forward with that attitude and you will never fail. Give a 100% to whatever you do, whatever the result may be. In the end, you will never feel that void in your heart if you gave your best to something. Not everyone can excel at everything. But you will never know what you excel at until you keep moving forward to new things until you keep trying. All the successful people we admire, we often forget that they have more failure stories to tell and a very few success stories. But the success stories are so great that all the past failures are overshadowed.
I can even give a personal example of this. A good friend of mine started a company, which many thought was a bad idea. She wanted to help engineers write their CDR report, when they wanted to migrate to Australia. Against all the suggestions, she went ahead with her venture, and truthfully her company is doing quite well now.
Nothing in this world is easy, and the only way to success is through failure. There is only one test, which most people fail. And that is of perseverance. The ‘Will to never give up’ is what is most important. Of course, writing all this is easy, and I myself might give up more than most of the times. But if we stick to it when it really counts, when something really important is on the line, I believe everyone can relish a great success story.
I would like to end with the words of Ernest Hemingway
“Man is not made for Defeat. A man can be destroyed but not defeated.”