Dear Prerna

So 10th is over and you will step into this whole new world of opportunities, although you won’t realize this until you finish your undergrad, but each choice you make, right from your junior college , will have an impact on your life, some big , some small. I don’t mean this in the end-of-the-world-scary way. I mean it in both good and slightly difficult way.

I am not going to advise you on what career to pick. I am not going to load you with dos and don’ts. I am just going to share what I did, and what I could have done better, and what I surely did right.

When I was in 10th, I was told to pick science, since I was reasonably good at studies. I tried to reason that I might be better at commerce, or maybe something like law and economics. But at last I gave in to the “pressure” and took up science. And by pressure, I don’t only mean pressure by parents or friends, I am talking about the false sense of pressure we build within ourselves which tells us that we won’t be good enough if we don’t do certain things. Do yourself a favor, choose your career wisely, but don’t give in to the “good enough” definition of the society. Do I regret taking science ? NO. Was I good at it as I would have been at let’s say law or econ? I don’t know. But all I know is life only makes sense when you look behind. You can only put the pieces back together, looking behind. Remember as kids, we are asked to solve a maze where we had to find a way for dog to get home, sometimes the route from home to dog was more easily found than vice versa.

Pick your friends wisely, no no I am not asking you to be friends only with toppers, but find people who vibe with you, who are honest with you. Beware of those who love drama, they often end up ruining a lot time and relationships.

Most important advise :- BE YOURSELF. YOU DON’T NEED TO PLEASE ANYONE. Stay true to yourself and your beliefs, do not bend or give in to someone’s demands just to please them. Be flexible, but do not give in to unreasonable demands. People at college / at work / at volunteering, etc …will form a lot of opinions about you, and they will do so no matter what you do or what you don’t. So don’t be too bothered and do not give in to bullying.

VOLUNTEER VOLUNTEER VOLUNTEER. I cannot emphasize this enough. Teach at an orphanage, be associated to Teach for India. Volunteer with The Toy Bank. There are ample of NGOs offering volunteer opportunities to students, manage your time, and do volunteer. It will not only help you develop an attitude of gratitude, it will also help you look at the bigger picture. Throughout my college life, I volunteered at different places, and that’s one thing I am glad that I did.

Participate. College festivals ? Go for it. Cousins wedding ? Of course make the the most of it. There is TIME FOR EVERYTHING, IF YOU MANAGE YOUR TIME RIGHT. Do not hold back from having fun. Prioritize, plan ahead, use your time wisely, and you can have it all. Participating in activities/ events does wonders for your personal growth. You learn a lot more about people, about life, about “how to keep calm”, etc… by participating in extracurricular activities (plus they look good on the resume , at least as a fresher ;-) ;-) ) . So manage your academic schedule wisely, so that your grades don’t suffer, but at the same time you must make the most of other activities as well.

Don’t argue, debate, try to prove your point to people who have made up their minds. Of course you must if you have participated in a debate contest, but otherwise it isn’t worth it(TRUST ME ON THIS ONE). It is better to agree to disagree and move on.

Don’t take social media too seriously. Trust me people’s lives are never really as cool as they want you to think it is. Use SM for your advantage, but share info or to make connections, but do not put out a lot of personal info out there. No one needs to know where you had your dinner, who are you dating (mandatory ONLY AFTER 21, my-I-AM-YOUR-AUNT kind of warning, and I mean no one besides your family), no one needs to know how often you visit Starbucks.

Form strong and informed opinions, not rigid and biased ones. AND ALWAYS ALWAYS BE OPEN TO NEW INFORMATION. OPEN YOUR MIND BEFORE YOU OPEN YOUR MOUTH.

Look out for a mentor. Is there someone you admire ? Is there someone you want to emulate in some aspect of your life ? Ask them to mentor you. Having a mentor helps you a great deal. It helps you avoid mistakes and also helps you overcome your mistakes. It can be anyone, your cousin, your aunt, your senior from school, your professor,basically anyone you admire and respect enough.

Last but not the least, trust your family, they will understand and they will always be there for you. Sharing certain things with family can be hard, but trust me they are your safety net. We are always there for you. We are a pack.

Love,

Vishu Fai.