3 ways to stop cursing ourselves for being a failure.

When we think about failure some weird and disastrous thoughts come to our minds even if the failure has already happened or going to happen. Some times, we think that failure is the end of everything, the end of life. Some of us afraid of failure to the extent that we don’t even try to take the next steps. Most of us get affected the fear of failing and don’t want to anticipate the upcoming changes, new explorations in our lives.

Failure is an integral part of our lives. Just like the binary language of the computer system, 0 and 1, we as a human being deem our life targets in the forms of success and failure. Either it’s a success or a failure. As the computer system understands only binary language at its core, we as human beings are taught to have been successful in our lives not to be a failure. Our parents teach us to have a successful life and overcome all the failures come to the way of our lives which is also a correct way to live with.

Failing in business in 1831, suffering a nervous breakdown in 1836, defeated in his run for president in 1856, Abraham Lincoln was no longer unknown to rejection and failure. Rather than taking these indications as a motivation for nonacceptance, he declined to stop trying his best.

Lincoln was elected in 1861 as the 16th President of the United States of America. The greatest words from Lincoln:

“My great concern is not whether you have failed, but whether you are content with your failure.”

Similarly, one of the greatest basketball player all the time Michael Jordan said:

”I’ve missed over 9,000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times I’ve been trusted to take the game-winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”

Most of us never get the opportunity to learn how to handle failure, how to confront the feeling of being failed. Take an example any of the following life events of the birth, schooling, higher education, relationships, marriage, career, retirement till our final calls, we encounter so much struggle to covert every result into a successful outcome. We hardly plan about the impacts of failure, how we would handle the situation if we get fail. Most of us run after the success blindly and totally break down when get failed. We listen every day the cases of depression, anxiety, disorders, medical problems even cases of suicides due to a failure in our lives. We started out blaming ourselves for small to small failure happen to us. We curse ourselves for the failures those occur even unintentionally. We don’t agree with the fact that failure nothing but part of the success. Albert Einstein, the greatest scientist once said:

”Success is failure in progress.”

Failure doesn’t mean the end of life indeed it is the beginning of the success. We should understand that failures may happen as it is a part of the journey to success. Here are the top 3 ways which would aid us to stop cursing ourselves for the failure happen in our lives:

1

Stop taking failures personally: there are chances when failures could happen any moment in our lives and we sometimes comprise ourselves with it very personally. We feel that we are the only reason behind everything. We start speculating that we are solely responsible for the failure, for everything that has happened. Taking failures personally won’t change the fact that failure could also be happened and is a journey, not the destination. We won’t gain confidence until we won’t get failed. Failures teach us lots of new learnings about the mistakes we did and new directions of success. If we take responsibilities of the failures only and not for the efforts we have done so far, it would be very difficult to determine the value of an entire journey. Also, there could be some external factors liable for the failure of which we are not aware of. So stop blaming ourselves for the failure and keep moving forward, learn good lessons and achieve the desired goal.

2

Stop thinking what others say: the human is a social animal and surrounded by the different types of social relations like parents, siblings, direct and indirect relatives, friends, neighbours etc, etc. We concern about what others think about us and always try to be on a good list. Sometimes we think about those who merely know us. We bother a lot about the perspectives put on to us by our relatives, friends and neighbours. “What he or she would think about me”, “how would I face them”, “I wouldn’t be able to answer their questions”. These kinds of thoughts occupy our minds when a failure moment occurs. We think about what others would say and start cursing ourselves for being a failure. We never think that others were not there when we were struggling with the challenges but we worry about their sentiments and judgement. We should stop worrying about others and understand the importance of ourselves. We should appreciate the help and guidance provided by our genuine family members, friends and relatives and stop worrying about those who always pull our legs.

3

It was the last chance: when we fail to achieve something that is important to us we generally think that it was the last chance to accomplish that. We generally think it wouldn’t come again. There are cases where the chances are rare and rarely repeat again but in general, those are not the case. We lose our hopes when we fail and think as a last chance to achieve that goal. If there is hope there is a way. The chances are that we get the opportunities to overcome the failure and accomplish the goal. We should not curse ourselves for being a failure, we should keep going on, keep trying, keep inventing the new ways to achieve the desired outcomes. There is no last chance for those who strive to find the right way.

”Failure is an event, not a person” — Zig Ziglar

IT Enthusiast, Professional, Novice Sportsperson and Fantasist of Better World. @byVishalSharma on Twitter.