A Realistic Love Story
The classic start —
I met her when I went with my brother to hang out with his friends at a local cafe. Her presence was incredible. She just had a normal makeup, nothing fancy, but everything about her personality was really magnetic. Basically, she felt very radiant.
We started talking, I asked her about her job, and it was a very interesting field. She worked as a voice artist. Conversations just flew with her. We were sitting opposite each other and things were starting to get loud a little bit, so she came and sat next to me. I felt really at home and that felt weird because I hadn’t experienced this easiness with any outsider before, let alone when I meet them the first time.
I started crushing on her after we left, but was not expecting for anything to happen. It was like how you develop a crush on someone which you know will just wear out. I kept in touch with her over text. She learned things about my work. I had recently started my own company, and had quite a bit to learn. She was interested in the details, and it was fun sharing the struggle.
Eventually, she asked me to build her a website and I also genuinely started thinking in creative ways to get her a good business out of it. After I was done rolling out the website, the conversations now began with her appreciating my talent (always fun to listen ;)
One day, we were talking about philosophy and spiritualtiy and she talked about twin flames. I didn’t know what that was, I said let me Google it and come back. She asked me to wait just said “your soul is the other half of mine”.
I thought I understood but was caught off guard, so just to verify I asked her what she meant. She told me she fell for me. It was a whole adrenaline gush moment for me. I’m not exaggerating here, but my head actually went warm from all the blood flow to my brain. I don’t know what my reaction would be if she was telling it to me face to face. I know she’d be disappointed because I had no expressions. Not even that of a shock. And I think she knew that I could only express myself really well over text.
At that point, I was too seriously involved & stressed out about my startup & its finances, and she is born with a silver spoon. From the beginning, that was a concern for me with anyone. I wanted to be something and only then take up things like relationships. But I knew she doesn’t get that. Well, she doesn’t know male ego ;) (Not proud of it, but it’s still there. I want to be an earner and not rely on my partner for money).
I think I took my stress too seriously at that point and told her nothing would happen. She asked me to drop it. I think she knew, on some level, I wasn’t going to be ready any time soon.
A little bit about me —
I’m introverted, incapable of expressing very well, especially things like love. I have zero experience there, and I’m very awkward. If I ever feel it, denial is the first thing I know to do. And I do it with dedication. And dating is a concept I don’t understand. I get marriages and serious relationships, but it’s still a grey area for me. Very unclear, and tangled.
I guess she knew all of this and still felt comfortable telling me. Strong woman. But my imagination started to run wild after she asked me to drop it. I couldn’t sleep the whole night and kept day dreaming her being my girlfriend and eventually my wife. (That escalated too quickly, I know). By the time it was dawn, I was already a father in my head.
Of course, with the first sun’s ray, I decided to deny it. It was a fun ride, but that’s about it. I didn’t mention anything to her. As I got to start the day, I just couldn’t stop thinking about it. I went to work, but I didn’t do a minute’s worth of work. Completely lost, confused and hating being this distracted when I’m not even earning a penny. I felt it was time to tell her.
A little bit about her -
She is an eccentric woman, full of life (too much for a dead me), very spontaneous, splurges on everything.
We’re basically completely opposite. But I felt very liberated with her. So after I told her, she was happy to a new level. She told me she did a little dance in her room. This was a massive moment for me, but it just went away as quickly as it came.
I knew that we could become something but I wanted to stay friends first after letting out my feelings. Just think of a Chandler-type commitment issue. I didn’t want to acknowledge any of it too soon.
The chaos —
But alas! This is when things started to change. She was too quick, I was too slow. I just wanted things to move at a turtle’s speed, but she was a rabit who could finish the race twice after I took a single step. No matter how much I tried to tell her to just hold off, she’d try coming close just as much. We didn’t know each other’s preferences, and details that you should know when you’re more than friends. She just kept sending me gifts, things I didn’t want, even after asking her not to do those things for me. I just wanted her presence as a support, which is something I’d give her too.
Soon, she started doing things I completely despised. After asking her multiple times to just stop doing it, she ignored it anyway and just kept coming too close too soon. I didn’t know what she wanted from me and she’d keep doing things I didn’t want from her.
She wouldn’t tell me what she wanted and she kept doing things while telling me that she’s not expecting anything back. If you do something for your loved one, you do it slowly after knowing what they might like/dislike, and just after getting to know each other. You can naturally understand the person and scope their personality.
It was a big mess. Things only started to move downward from there. I kept feeling suffocated, stressed out from my work, and the with time I spend with her, she’d take anything I said very seriously and buy something and send it across. I stopped mentioning things to her after that. We kept having cold talks, and somehow I came off as the villain every time.
Apparently I don’t take as many efforts as she did. I’m generally a very respectful guy, but the conversations went on, she somehow felt insulted and taken for granted. I had nothing of the sort in mind. Things started to get bitter. Most conversations left me being stressed out of my mind and her getting teared up.
Even meeting her was stressful as she’d come by during my peak hours of work. She didn’t clearly mention what she was expecting and I couldn’t get free from work to give her my complete attention.
Eventually, as things started to get too heavy to handle, fights became more & more serious. So much to the extent that I blocked her on my chats, to get some stress-free time. Soon, there was nothing to talk about without it turning into a fight. Nothing recoverable anymore.
We broke it off soon after that. She’s someone else’s wife today & I’m not in touch with her.
Moral of the story —
Always take things slow, go on dates while keeping friendship as a priority. Measure each other’s philosophies, personalities. Just love is not enough. The rush is real. Appreciate the good feelings that someone brought forward in you, but don’t confuse that with someone being compatible with you.
P.S. This is my first story. I’m happy you found the time to read till the end. Do comment and let me know your thoughts!
Thank you.