I Reject Being Happy, I Seek Liberation

I am told by the media and self-help books to “be happy”. TV and magazine ads show smiling faces running on a beach or walking through open space carefree and without worry. Supposed silver bullet strategies for finding contentment and seeking pleasure can be found in rows of bookshelves at libraries and bookstores. Happiness as a pursuit is all the rage these days.

Not surprisingly, it’s not a new one. The Declaration of Independence claims it is an unalienable right. Some religious thinkers and philosophers of old believe that humans innately hunger to be happy. That without it, we are not fully human.

Ironically, I live in a society that does not see me as human. The American story about my black skin tells me that my existence was and is for exploitation. Historically, I exist so wealth can be extracted for the 1% on my back and the backs of my ancestors. Moreover it has been stunningly clear that people who look like me don’t get full protection under the law. I shouldn’t be surprised. From the very beginning black people weren’t intentionally included in the promise of life and liberty, let alone the pursuit of happiness.

I participate in a religion that has been co-opted to beg me, a black woman, to forgive the transgressions of whites before me and currently living. Co-opted Christianity shames me for protesting in anger and using my God given voice to demand better and more from those in power. It says to be silent, wait for God to give me eternal happiness and peace and let people unconsciously and consciously create hell on earth through acts of racism and injustice.

So let’s get real. Can I really be happy? How can I experience true pleasure and contentment if I’m bound by the shackles of economic, political, spiritual and social oppression?

One answer I found to this daunting question this week at ISAIAH Weeklong Leadership Training is that white supremacy (a comprehensive system of relationships and beliefs where “white is alright”, exploitation is okay and division among people through many -isms is natural) has been telling lies about the happiness all along and using self help books and the media as its vehicle. It tell us all, regardless of race or class, that our happiness comes from running towards shallow peace (illusionary absence of conflict) to pacify our pain (not explore it in depth or find ongoing healing) and get whatever comfort we can in this life (passively accept what is and turn an eye away from necessary and even spiritual struggle). It shames us to believe that if we just work hard enough we can be happy and if we fail at being happy, it’s our fault. Sadly when white supremacy plays this blame game, it remains unchallenged, found innocent for actively contributing to our shortcomings and puts us in a state of oppression. In other words, it can continue to churn a deceptive story about happiness that holds a silent but deadly power on all of us economically, socially, spiritually and emotionally.

This. Game. Needs. To. End. We can’t keep using dominance and inferiority as mechanisms for building self-worth in this country. We can’t let the power of the 99% be held hostage by an American Dream that only serves the 1%.

If the game must end, that means I can no longer be complacent about the reality of white supremacy. I must make a decision about whether I will take power away from white supremacy and use it to fuel our individual and collective liberation.

This decision is a new one for me to make and I’m still reflecting on what this choice entails. What I do know is that liberation is rooted in admitting that we regardless or race or class, we need each other. That we can’t pull ourselves by our own bootstraps. Instead, liberation encourages us to relinquish the belief that expressing emotion or pain makes us less than a man or too much of a woman. It asks us to put fear of imperfection or vulnerability on the chopping block. With deep relationships, humility and vulnerability at the center, we can look racism and exploitation in the face, boldly call them out, and work to make them no more. This kind of power stands up to white supremacy and demands that we are more than enough as we are. In that very act, we are working out our liberation.

Striving to be liberated doesn’t mean we won’t experience contentment and pleasure along the way. This type of work should bring out our very best and lead to an outpouring of those feelings. What makes this path to pleasure and contentment different is that it welcomes authenticity, real freedom and deep love and respect for our individual and collective humanity.

So I’m done chasing after the kind of happiness white supremacy validates. I no longer believe it’s meant to serve me or most people anyway. I chose to fight for my liberation and the liberation of others. That’s true happiness.